A
female
age
36-40,
*eyitsding
writes:Last year, when I entered college as a freshman, I met this guy and we hit it off right away. He was from my hometown, but he had a girlfriend (2 years younger) who was still at home. We hung out almost every night, with no sexual contact or even kissing, because I refused to be "that girl" .. and I didn't want to seem desperate to hook up with him- if he really liked me, he would have broken up with his girlfriend. We eventually got very close, where as we hung out every day and talked almost all day through text/ phone calls/ im, etc. In person, we would talk the night away and finally began to realize our feelings for each other. He many a times told me, to my face, how much he cared for me and wanted to be with me. He told me he was willing to end his relationship at home to be with me- I was a freshman in college, and was adamantly opposed to a relationship, except I knew I deeply cared for him. Things fell apart for a month or two because I was scared of getting too close to a guy- I have never had a serious boyfriend (I went to an all girls high school, so I am not used to it). We talked a few times over the summer, but never got around to seeing each other, seeing as things were a little awkward. This year, when we got back to school for our sophomore year, I realized how much I missed him. After all, he was one of my best friends and the person I felt closest to (besides my closest girl friends). I really felt a loss when I wasn't with him a lot... so the first time we hung out, it was like old times. It was as if nothing changed- we talked about everything (our summers, even hookups/ people we dated in the summer, etc.) and one thing led to another- and we hooked up for the first time. It was as if an entire year of sexual tension just got caught up- and we were SOBER, which, to a college student, is a BIG deal. I felt so comfortable with him, which I do not feel in sexual sitautions with a lot of guys. I really still care for him, but he is sending me mixed signals. When we do talk (as we did last night) it is as if we are dating- we talk about our childhoods (funny stories) and just random things. I really miss him. But since I was the one to break it off last year, what do you think my chances are of getting him back? I really think I need to be with him.. but don't know how to get this across to him since he is now in a fraternity and into that "scene." What do I do? Do I tell him how I feel?
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (11 October 2007):
 I'm with Baby Duck.
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (11 October 2007):
 Whatever it is you decide the situation will evolve off its own accord. When you are at university things change so rapidly and your own priorities change as well. So I would just go with the flow, enjoy his company but realise that at university he will have plenty of other distractions ( and so will you ). Ultimately having a committed relationship while you are at university will require a lot of effort. It may not be something both of you are prepared to commit to, but if you love each other then it will come naturally.
University is a place that allows you the opportunity to evolve as a person and experience many different and varied things, I am of the belief that limiting yourself to dating a guy from your hometown is maybe not the best way to experience everything university has to offer. But, again if you love each other then I can go to hell right??!
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (10 October 2007):
A lot depends on the type of fraternity he joined. If it is a drinking/party type of frat, I say drop him and move on and meet a larger group of friends and dates. Some more experience might be good for you, before you make such a big decision.
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