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female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I have been with a man 10 years younger than I am for nearly two years now. We were living together and made plans to get married, but I ended up backing out because I was too concerned about the age difference. Neither of us has children (I'm 39, he's 29) and although I can still have them I'm not sure that I want to. He says he is not interested in having children, but I often worry that he will change his mind once he gets older. We are still seeing each other and he still wants to marry, but I often wonder what things will be like on down the road. We have both been married before - me, to a man that was my same age and him to another woman that was 10 years older than he is. My marriage lasted 10 years and was not a happy one; his lasted only a couple of years and ended because his wife cheated on him. I feel like he is with me for the right reasons - we share a lot of common interests, want the same things out of life and have an incredible sex life... but I still worry about the age. His parents love me and my parents accept him, so I sincerely hope I can be like you and allow myself to take a chance with this man. Advice?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Tatumokeef  +, writes (9 November 2009):
 If you really love this person than you should pursue the marriage with him. There's no telling whether or not the marriage will work in the long run or the person will still be the same. When you take an oath with this person, you say that you love them for better or for worse. You say that you dont want children and neither does he but you are scared he will change his mind; maybe you will change your mind in the future and not him. Theres no way of knowing what his mind will end up with but for right now you just have to trust him and what he has to say.
A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (9 November 2009):
 Advice? I had all the same concerns about the age gap when I met my husband...I am 38 and he is nearly 28. His friends told him he was marrying his surrogate 'mother' and mine said he was after a visa and my money. Six years later we are still happily married and have a lovely child together. My answer to you is that if it works, forget about the age-gap! It is not that important! Go with your instincts and think about all those lonely people in the world who would just love to have what we have got in our respective relationships.
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