A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Me and my friend decided to be more than friends , yesterday i got some plans mixed up and messaged him saying i couldnt meet friday he didnt see the message straight away but 2 mins later i told him it was ok to still see each other and he saw id put that . He claimed he made other plans in the space of 30 seconds he clearly didnt read properly what id put , he admitted hes going fishing , i havent had a good time recently and was hoping this was going to be a good night of no worries and to be able to relax he knows all this , is it just me that thinks its bad mannered / rude whatever its called that he wont cancel fishing that he can do anytime like he did last week , to come and see me . he knew id mixed things up its like hes just using this to avoid meeting up even tho he wanted all this . do i tell him forget it , do i convince him to meet later or tomorrow or sunday or do i wait weeks to meet up another time ( due to family visiting and work itd be another 3-4 week to wait )
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female
reader, ArtisticBiscuit +, writes (28 May 2016):
 Did he 100% say he was going to meet you before you mixed up and cancelled?
It's part of life to have people have prior engagements.
So he goes fishing instead of seeing you. There is plenty of time for you both to meet up another day.
He could be letting more than one person down by cancelling his fishing trip. (I don't know if he goes alone or not).
You need to chill.
Maybe give more notice when planing events and organize your life better.
After all you mixed up. It's got nothing to do with him being flaky. You cancelled he filled his time with a different event.
Make the next time you both meet up extra special and don't worry about this time being a flop.
-ArtisticBiscuit
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2016): IM THE OP excuse me , but if u read it right i said i told him i couldnt see him ( yes that was cancelling but i i also said 30 seconds later i told him i could c him, he didnt see the message until i had said i could see him !
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (27 May 2016):
 You're the one who cancelled. You're the one being rude. So what, it took him 30 seconds to change plans? He changed plans! Accept it and set up a new date.
You need to be less stressed and freaked out by such small matters. You already sound controlling and over bearing, and you've JUST STARTED to date him! It's time to chill a bit. You do not have the right, you're not entitled in any way, to say such things like "you can go fishing any other time, you should prioritize me!". It's NOT YOUR CALL. And it's not like he ISN'T prioritizing you, you did have a date, and YOU cancelled!
You can not expect him to sit by the phone and never make any other plans, and just jump whenever you say jump. He's not a dog. Don't treat him like one. He made other plans, and it doesn't matter that you were free anyway, he made other plans before realizing that you were free after all.
If you want this to work out, you need to take step back and not act like a jealous wife. You're just dating. FREEDOM is key. Don't go all "I own you" on him, at least not just yet.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (27 May 2016):
 I wouldn't call him a flake and I wouldn't call you a flake either. (after all YOU cancelled, he didn't).
I would say you are overreacting a little bit here.
You cancelled and he them went STRAIGHT to plan B which was fishing with friends. My guess is the fishing trip was something HE had turned down, to go out with you and the minute you cancelled he thought GREAT! I can now go fishing after all! win/win!
And when you then 2 minutes later decided that you COULD go after all, he was booked and you expect him to DROP everything for you. He is being NO more rude, than you are.
My advice? Next time if you think you need to cancel, do it in good time and stick to it. The whole I can't... wait I can doesn't work for most people.
You can STILL go out and have a great and carefree night out with the girls/friends/coworkers IF you choose to. No one says you can't have fun with out him.
He might be doing this NOT to avoid meeting up, but to show that he isn't always available, that he HAS a life outside the "thing" you two have.
Or he could be thinking that you are playing some push/pull game with him and HE ain't playing.
Now IF he is doing this to avoid meeting up, is he then really a good potential BF? Maybe he is a MUCH better friend than BF.
But if this is the FIRST time your plans and his ended up not working out, I think you need to chill. I wouldn't try and "convince" him of anything. I would just go enjoy a night out with friends. And if HE suggest meeting up Sat/Sun then make plans (if you are available) and STICK to them.
Also.. when cancelling/making plans, how about CALLING him in the future?
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