A
female
age
30-35,
*abe18
writes:Im falling for my best guy friend but im very confused on how he feels. See im 21 we dated on and off for two years when we were 14 it was one of those First Love type of things, and now where in are 20's we tried the FWB thing but i was confused about it all so that stopped. He would pick me up, take me to dinner and to go see movies and we would hangout late just talking and for my bday he took me shopping, we got dinner and laid under the stars at the beach all his idea. I told him i was falling for him and i needed a break. he said he understood, yet we still talk all day every day and are planning to hangout next weekend. i dont know what to do? do i just take a break from him or just keep talking and hanging out and see what happends? HELP!!!! its so hard pretending not to care when all i want to do is be the right women for him. LOVE SUCKS! ( sorry its so long just very confused.)
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2012): Yeah you need to break complete contact for a while OP. If he's not interested in being in a relationship with you then you can't go on torturing yourself life this.
He thinks everything is fine because you told him you need a break yet you still talk to him every day and make plans with him.
OP what do you think is going to happen here? If he was interested in a relationship OP you'd never have been FWB's and I don't see why you were confused either, friends with benefits are still friends that like to hang out and do all the things that couples do but it means absolutely nothing it's just part of the dynamic. He'd hardly be a good friend if he just boned you then ignored you afterwards.
You need to take a long break of no contact and see what happens from there, have a long think about what's good for you. Being close friends with a person you love is not only torture but it's unfair on you and him. It's unfair on you because you'll be in constant pain, it gets even worse when he starts dating other girls or gets a girlfriend. It's unfair on him because no matter what you think you won't be a good friend to him if he gets a girl because you'll be biased, hurt and unable to even look at him.
Look as much pain as you feel now, staying close to him and talking to him every day is only making it worse isn't it? It really will just build up in you to the point where you will crack and explode, and your friendship with him may be ruined.
Besides do you really want to spend another few years pining over a guy you can't have while all the other guys you could have and may word really well with pass you by?
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (10 September 2012):
 If you have told him how you feel and he's not stepping up to be what you want/need him to be, then he does not feel that way about you and you are better off for yourself going NO CONTACT.
you told him how you feel
he SAID he understood and yet he still comes after you...
Take that break.... either you will heal over time and move on... or he will realize what he is missing and step up to the plate...
if you are having sex you must stop that no matter what.
...............................
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