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Do I stick with the father of my baby, or go back to my ex, who would treat me better?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Pregnancy<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 May 2005) 5 Answers - (Newest, 27 June 2005)
A , anonymous writes:

I am 17 yrs old and I am 6 months pregnant. I'm still with the dad but he treats me bad. He won't let me see my mates and if I do he does bad things. Like last time he smashed up one of my mate's mum's car. I took him back for the baby, he is 23 but he acts like a 2 yr old. My ex said he wants me back and is prepared to take on my unborn baby but I don't know what to do. I'm stuck.

I know I would have a better life with my ex and I know my mum would be happier cause she hates the father of my baby cause of what he's like. I am really stuck. What shall I do?

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A reader, donvia +, writes (27 June 2005):

stick wit yo baby and if your ex is willin to take care of you and you baby then do your thing

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A reader, kiwi +, writes (31 May 2005):

I think you shouldn't be with neither one of them because you and your ex broke up for WHATEVER reason(s).The #1 thing when it come down to an'ex'is that you never take them back because WHATEVER they did the first time they are going to do it again,and again,and again. Yeah they talk all that 'GUSSY STUFF' and it warms your ear up but bascically he's telling you stuff that you want to hear. But as far as yo current b/f, girl you need to leave him cuz he CRAZY, DANGEROUS for you and your unborn child. Plus you're too young to be going through that for real.

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A reader, AngelGurl +, writes (29 May 2005):

Ok i think you should go bakc with you ex cause for 1 hes prepered to look after you & the baby when its gets here, The Babys's Biological Dad Seems To Be Violent & its not a place for a little bay to grow up in Get Bk With Your ex its the best thing hope everything goes alright!

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A reader, alison +, writes (28 May 2005):

Firstly, you should finish with your b/f. Even though he is the father of your baby, he won't be a good one. He treats you badly and would probably treat the baby badly as well, so it's not worth the risk.

Then if you love your ex, get back with him but don't get back with him if you don't love him because it will only hurt him. If you don't love him but need his help, ask him but make it clear you don't want to get into a relationship with him.

You don't need a man in your life just because you have a baby so don't feel pressured to get one. You are only young and have plenty of time to find someone that will love you and your baby and treat you how both you deserve to be treated.

hope this helps you

good luckxx

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A female reader, Bev Conolly Australia +, writes (28 May 2005):

Bev Conolly agony auntHon, get away from your baby's dad. You can already see that he's a loser. You already know that he's not responsible when he should be, and he clearly can't control his anger... He sounds like a huge waste of space. You and your child don't need people like him in your lives.

However, there's no rule that says you have to go back to your ex, either, no matter how kind and sincere his offer to "take on" you and your baby. Maybe the best thing to do right now is to learn to look after yourself, and do that **without** a boyfriend for a while.

I'm assuming that you plan to raise this child yourself, so now you need to consider what your child's needs are. That's going to mean staying away from violent and/or selfish men and concentrating on being a good mum and giving your baby a good start in life.

Please contact the baby-health clinic where you live and ask to speak to a counsellor. They have lots of excellent advice and might be able to show you where you can get help to find a place of your own and the best ways to care for yourself and your child.

I would suggest - if you think that your ex is a good man, and sincere about his offer - that you stay friends with him for now, but don't get back into a romantic relationship. You need to focus on you, not on men, and soon you're going to have your hands too full to manage a lot of romance anyway.

Take care and be good to yourself!

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