A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok. So, I've been dating the same girl for two years now. Things are mostly good, except we fight a lot, have different personalities, and dont really have many similar interests (i.e. she gets pissed off when I spend a day watching sports). We are seniors in college and I'm going to grad school next year, and she's planning to follow me and we'll live together. I sometimes feel like I'm not ready for that huge of a commitment...I mean I feel like we could make it work long term, but it would take a lot of work and headaches. we're not naturally that compatible. But I love her and I don't want to break her heart.So, over spring break this year, I meet this awesome girl. We have way more in common than me and my girlfriend, and I cant get her out of my head. I dont pursue more than just talking, but i get her number. So, we start texting and I really like her. But here's the problem: she lives about 1500 miles away, and she's a senior in high school. However, she says she'd be fine doing the long distance thing and is totally into me. She's gorgeous and has an awesome personality and no matter how much I tell myself it's illogical, I'm falling for her.This is my dilemma. Do I stay with my girlfriend who I'm comfortable with (although our relationship isnt ideal), or do I pursue the new girl I can't stop thinking about? It's basically do I want to be safe and know what I'm getting or throw a wrench in the gears, take a huge chance, and maybe be happier. I just dont know. I dont know if I'm ready for the living togerther and moving together, but I dont know about a long-distance thing with a younger girl either.My head hurts. help me. I'm gonna hurt someone either way. I hate this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionsee, I dont have the "elevator feeling" with my current gf, but i havent dated enough people to know if that feeling lasts past 2 years with anyone...idk
A
female
reader, Naley1289 +, writes (7 April 2011):
 Ok, first things first NEVER LEAVE THE ONE YOU LOVE FOR SOMEONE YOU LIKE BECAUSE THE ONE YOU LIKE WILL LEAVE YOU FOR THE ONE THEY LOVE. That being said, if you're not ready for that type of commitment, tell her. Don't keep her waiting or lead her on. You're just wasting your time AND hers. I know it might be hard you might be confused. You're probably thinking," take the safe bet because you don't want to be alone." Believe me, I get it. I've tried settling with someone that didn't give me the elevator feeling but I stopped myself. I rather be happy and if I'm not entirely happy then I can't do it to myself. As for this new girl, is that what you want? A long distance relationship? If that's what you want then fine but don't lie to yourself. Don't hide your heart. Take a breather, relax. See what happens. It might take some time but do NOT do something that you would hate if someone did to you. Ok hun? I hope I helped you!
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A
female
reader, Misssarah  +, writes (7 April 2011):
 honestly, i would say finish with your current girlfriend for a start, it clearly doesnt seem to be working and it sounds like you probably want out of this relationship at the minute which could explain your feelings for this other girl. It sounds like you are just trying to play safe yeah, if you generally think you would be happier elsewhere, i would finish it x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2011): im in the exact same situation. only im a girl, and the boy i want to be with is that far away and I don't know if i should settle for who i have. looking at yours, i would recommond taking a chance... i should probably do the same, but i don't have the courage to do it. I don't known if that helped at all.
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A
male
reader, Partyboy123  +, writes (6 April 2011):
 Long distance relationships SUCK, no offence but they barely ever work unless you can meet periodically and it just clicks.you have two years invested into this relationship, and you just met some girl that you are crazy about - CLEARLY, you have doubts about your current relationship, and are thinking about another girl more than your current one.you've spent so much time with your current girlfriend why? BECAUSE YOU CARE and want to be with her... Yes, relationships get boring and you can lose interest... but try and think back to when you were first dating, those first three months, how special were they? sparks probably FLEW, every time you kissed your heart stopped or skipped a beat, your heart raced when you saw her, she gave you chills when she touched you, holding hands with her made you feel completely secure, and when you hugged her you NEVER wanted to let her go. you lost sight of those times, and if you could bring yourself back to those very moments, it would rekindle that connection between the two of you...
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