A
male
age
36-40,
*xjameswxx
writes:Hi everyone.Im 21, a gay guy and i think im falling in love with my straight friend who's 19.I have known him for about 2 years, i met him through another friend, we got on straight away, we were allways chatting and texting each other. About 6 months i found myself liking him, i mean really liking him. Not a day went past when i didn't think about him. Then, i found myself falling for him, i didn't want to tell him incase it hurt/upset him and me. Eventually it got to a point where it was driving me mad having these feelings for someone i couldn't bring myself to tell!I ended up texting him a 6 page text explaining that this had happened to me before, i had fallen for a straight guy before and it caused alot of heartache shall we say. I ended up leaving my job, he worked at the same place as me, ended up taking anti-depressants and i lost nearly 2 st in weight because i wasn't eating properly. I explained to him that i had feelings for him and i could see it going the same way as it did in the past. I told him that i couldn't go on seeing him again as a friend because it was breaking my heart the thought of me not being able to be with him. He said he was sorry that i had to do that and that he was sorry that it came to that and that he understood why i done it. We never made contact after that for about 4 months but then i got a message off him off face book, just general stuff, how are you? Etc.I replied and we got talking again. I met up with him again last week and i just felt like bursting into tears. My problem is, i think he might like me too. He has known from day one that im gay. He is so comfortable to be around me i can't believe it, its like we're brothers. He tells me everything about himself, friends, family, work, his social life everything.1 thing i have noticed though, if he's alone with me he never talks about girls but if any other of his straight friends are around its the 1st thing he talks about. If i text him a cheeky gay suggestive text he just laughs it off but any other straight guy would perhaps tell me its not thier conversation topic, right?He treats me like a special person, i don't mean that he buys me things or anything, i mean he treats me with respect and appreciates me. Its all these little things that are leading me to think he's gay or atleast in the closet!Whenever i ask him about girls he quickly changes the subject. I even asked him once if he wanted me to find him a girlfriend and he said 'no'. He even doesn't mind flashing his underwear knowing i might be looking.I don't know what to do anymore, do i ask him and risk our friendship by getting all this wrong?I just don't know. What do i do?Jay x x
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male
reader, dddddddd  +, writes (10 June 2009):
Well if you have to stay away from him for your sanity you may as well just come right out and ask him. Worst case scenario - you're wrong, he feels uncomfortable and you never see each other again. That is bad but it is getting to the point where you don't want to see him again anyway, as it is hurting too much.
You may as well know. If he is then far out how fantastic. If he isn't then you know and can go back to not seeing him and move on.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009): Aw.
anyway..
Um.. it sounds like you made a good move earlier on by using honesty, courage and putting yourself really, really out there to him and telling him taht you just can't stand to be around him anymore.
It sounds to me like either he likes you, or he doesn't and is leading you on for some strange reason. That is just not right.
So think about this:
You don't want to put your friendship on the line, but isn't it true taht if you found out he does not at all like you, you would be crushed again and not be able to handle the friendship?
And wouldn't you therefor go through another period, maybe a life-long one of not talking?
And if he does like you, then wouldn't you be delighted to know and see if you can elevate things a little bit to the next level?
One of those two is true.. there is just no other way.
You are better off knowing.
So what do you have to lose, is my point i guess? Why is this so hard for me to explain. i certainly hope you are understanding what i'm saying.
You need to know how he feels. If he doens't like you, then you are wasting your heart on him right now. You could have been with someone else by now.. been over him.
If he doesn't like you, he should've left you alone when you asked him to. Just... found out what's going on. Ok.. don't sit around wondering. How long can that really last?
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