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male
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anonymous
writes: I've been friends with this girl now for a few years. Over the past year we have gotten very close to where i am her best guy friend and she is my best girl friend. I have feelings towards her but not to the point where if she goes out on a date i will get mad or jealous, but im sure i'll get to that point eventually. I've seen this situation before and usually nothings good comes from it, but should i tell her that i have feelings for her and risk our friendship for a chance that im not sure about? (i dont have the slightest clue if she has any kind feelings towards me like i do towards her.)
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male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (26 April 2006):
 Well, the thing with this situation is that both the stakes and rewards are high. Having said that it seems to me as if you are unsure of your own feelings so looking at it that way you are taking a huge huge gamble. I think the first thing you need to do is sort out your feelings.
You say you dont get jealous if she dates another guy but does it bother you in any way?? If that is the sole reason for you thinking more is developing I would tred with care; it could just be a protectiveness over a friend it sounds like you love dearly. Its not a question of love, its ok to love people in different ways, the question is do you want a relationship with her? Do you lust after her?
I think these are the sort of questions you need to be asking yourself. Make your descision based on the answers. Hope that helps.
A
female
reader, princessdizzy +, writes (26 April 2006):
this will sound really childish but im assuming if she doesnt have feelings for you that you still want the friendship? get a mutual friend to see if she feels romantically about you,in a subtle way, a female friend that you trust would be best, yes its what 14yr olds do but theere's a lot at risk so tread carefully, when you get an idea from the friend you'll know how to proceed.
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