A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Been separated for nearly 5 years now, had a few bad relationships since. For over a year now I'be been seeing a guy for 'casual sex'. We did date about two years ago but he ended it. We live in a small village and see each other most days in the passing. Everyone knows we are friends and have no idea we meet up 'in secret'. We 'get together' once or twice a week. I am really fond of him and would like to have a 'proper' relationship with him, nothing heavy or anything. I've never told him how I feel but I'm sure he knows but never says anything. Not sure whether to be totally honest with him and tell him or whether just to continue with things they way they are and hope that he might feel the same. Scared that if I tell him, I'll make a fool of myself and loose him completely. Please help !! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2007): Thanks for your replies. I have mentioned it to him before and all he ever says is 'we tried that'then clams up. He's not the most communicative! I'm just so confused - he came with me to a family party last week (as a 'friend') and then I didnt hear from him for 5 days?! I've previously told him that we must stop whats going on but I always cave in when I hear from him. My gut instinct is to finish it completely and try to move on (even though I am 'mad about him'). Just feels wrong keeping it all a secret. Suppose I'll just have to find the willpower!! Thanks again x
A
male
reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (21 January 2007):
 It should read "closed doors" not "clothes doors". I had a late night. LOL.
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (21 January 2007):
If you're tired of dating behind clothes doors, then you need to make it clear. As it stands right now, he doesn't need to buy a cow 'cause he gets his milk for free.
If you lose him over your desire to have a "proper relationship", you haven't lost much.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, x jodz x +, writes (21 January 2007):
 i think it is completly up to you. you need to decide if you would rather have a proper relationship wiv him or any man or just want him and would rather have casual sex then nothing at all. if i was you when you meet up one time i would ease into the coversation relationships and see what he feels about relationships. if he says he doesn't want a relationship wiv anyone at all then it is your choice to either still have casual sex with him or look for someone who wants what you want or if his response is he would like a relationship then this could be your chance. otherwise you may have to compromise on one thing or another. hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, emokid +, writes (21 January 2007):
 if you dont tell him your feelings will suffer and you will both get hurt.i suggest sitting down and talking with him it will make things better between the two of you.
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