A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys,I started seeing a man just before he got married. I know, bad move... I stopped seeing him as he needed time to figure out his life and what he really wants. I told him if it is me that will make him happy then I will be here for him. If it is his wife, then I won't me able to talk to him until I completely move on.I havent seen him or had any contact with him for 6 months... I received an email from him yesterday saying things like... Hr misses me more than I could know, time has gone by and his feelings for me are still so strong... He is scared he will feel like this forever and feels like he has been grieving over a death.I dont know what to as my feelings for him are still as strong as ever. But it came as a surprise and i am now very confused.Please do not reply to this if you do not have anything constructive to say.I am a very good person and did not expect myself to get into a pickle like this...Thank you xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell I still haven't replied to the email, and I dont intend to either. I refuse to be sucked back in... especially after he is now married. Shame on him. I used to think his wife was so lucky... but I now realise that she is stuck with a man she thinks will always be true to her. I feel sorry for her.Thanks for the comments.I'm stronger than ever and intend to find a man who will love me and only me.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2009): just realise the moment you click on "send"/"reply" the tangled web will weave. as hard as it is now imagine the devastation, humiliation and suffering and that is just for you, what about his wife.
this guy, tried marriage, now a bit bored because routine has set in and what does he do.........slowly creep into your life....for what? A BOOTY CALL, that's what. this man is toying with your emotions...once down that path again with him you will be sucked in, just the other woman in his life, nothing more and certainly nothing less.
He made his choice, he has no backbone!!!!! and now he makes contact. you deserve better, so much better.
it may start of innocently but before you know it you will be labelled so much more than just an ex. can you live with yourself and like with the knowledge that you are his second best......you make your decision
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu  +, writes (18 March 2009):
 Its been 6 months and this is the first time he has contacted you? Either he has realised his marriage is not going to work because he no longer loves his wife, he wants to have an affair, or worse he could want to string you along and see if after 6 months you are still waiting for him.
Whatever the reason i would not reply to this email its been 6 months, if he loved you then he would have got in touch alot sooner. I would just delete the email and let him sort his marriage out after all if he loved you he would have left his wife.
Who knows maybe one day he will turn up at your door with his divorce papers but till that day i would stay well clear. Because if he wanted you back surely he would come and see you not send something as cold as an email
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2009): He went and got married. That's enough. If him and his wife can't make it work, well that's on them, you don't want to be part of that. Why did he after six years decide to start emailing you again? I can understand the love and friendship thing. It may be innocent but more than likely not that he's having second thoughts and wants what he gave up for her. Be strong and I like your morals. I wouldn't answer let alone expect him to leave his wife for an ex.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI just want to thank both of you for your comments and for being very understanding. Great advice from both.Also, to anonymous answer, yes he said he does miss my companionship and the fact that he misses talking to me everyday. But that still doesnt change the fact that he is married. The problem is, we started off as such good friends to the point where we could do and say anything in front of each other. It was like a friendship that only we understood. And then it eventuated into something more without us even realising... That is why it has been so hard for me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2009): of course no-one can help whom they like or fall in love with at least your being understanding by saying if he wants his wife you'll back off that's very strong of you.i understand your feeling confused about this as it has been 6 long months without a word and now all of a sudden he's emailing perhaps he misses your companionship and having someone there to talk too, why not email him back to find out as to why he's started emailing you all of a sudden, or if you feel you don't want to break up a marriage then it's maybe best to leave it lie if he keeps emailing you to a point you think i need to know then you'll have to email back and try and find out why he's mailing you and find out what he is thinking.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2009): Anon,...I have to advise you to ignore this email and move on. He made his decision six months ago. If he is now "rethinking", it should be entirely on his own. If he is unhappy and his marriage fails, let it be because of whatever it is between him and his wife. Do not become a part of it. It could backfire on you. Nor would I wait around long to see, if I were you. You could be waiting a long time. I don't know this man, so I cannot say where he is coming from, but many men sometimes start looking around for old candles that may still be burning after they have been married a while. Do not expect that he will ever leave his wife for you. My motto would always be, "Vows said, enough said"....
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