A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating ineclusively for quite some time. In the last 6-7 months i've been dating two men. Two really amazing guys! Lately i feel like im ready to take my relationship to the next level and date only one guy exclusively and start a life together. They have both told me they love me and would love nothing more than to be with in a committed relationship. I date inexclusively for awhile before anything more to get to know men and figure out who they are because i have two kids and don't parade men in and out. Both have spent small amounts of time with my kids and were introduced as a friend of mine. My kids are loving and accepting so me having a serious relationship would be welcomed by them. My question is how do i choose between my head and my heart. My head is saying choose guy one, who is safe, stable, dependable, we have a great frienship, rarely disagree, things are great except there isnt that physical pull; that passion or cant keep our hands off each other. well on my end its lacking. I wish it were there. Now guy two there is that passion; we have so much passion in both the good and the bad. When its good its great but when we disagree its bad because we have a lot of similarities. We're both stubborn and head strong...we bump heads. But making up is unbelievable. Things arent always easy like with guy one but eventually we figure it out. How do i decide between my head and my heart?
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female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (24 August 2011):
 You weigh all the pros and cons and figure out which has the greatest long-lasting potential for happiness.
What would make you happiest over time? Who would be the best FIT for you?
Since you have kids-the person you commit to would be a part of their lives too. Would he be a good role model?
If just the physical pull is missing on your part for one-can that be changed?
If one relationship has a problem with butting heads-can your fighting style be changed to fight fair?
What can and can not be tolerated or modified?
In my opinion-feelings can change; facts do not.
A
female
reader, KathrynM  +, writes (23 August 2011):
Guy one sounds like a great friend to have around, but if there isn't that pull it isn't going to work. Guy two sounds unstable, but if you talk to him about it and he is good with your kids then there is no reason not to give it a go. If you both love each other try being in a comitted relationship but part of that is learning not to be so stubborn on both your parts. my advice is to let go of guy one and keep him as a friend and give it a go with guy two but you will have to put the effort in. xx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2011): do they both know about this? You may find they make that decision for you.
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