A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i've recently broken up with my boyfriend who I was with for a few years. ever since the break up I feel as though i've lost all respect for myself and my trust in others. I've had sex with people since and i've just let them treat me like i'm nothing. I used to be so happy and i've completely changed as a person. So much that it's scaring me. It's not even that I hate my ex and i'm trying to make him jealous, we're on great terms and i'm so happy that he's happy now.. I just have this attitude and way of seeing things thats so cold, dark and depressing. I don't even recognize myself anymore.I have no idea what to do, Should i be thinking about counseling or is this just part of the break-up phase that will pass with time?
View related questions:
jealous, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (28 November 2012):
Both can be true. It can be true that this is just a phase that will pass with time. It can also be true though that using counselling as a tool through which to go through this phase can be a good idea. It is not to say that one has to see a counsellor to go through the various difficulties in life, but it can be helpful and a good idea. You can trust your own judgement as to whether or not you think it will be helpful to you in your set of circumstances, and at this time in your life. Also, in addition to using the passing of time, or counselling, to get through this phase, there are other things that you can do to get through this phase. You can look at the practical elements of your life such as: are you getting enough sleep, or too much sleep, are you exercising and eating and correctly and choosing the right foods, are you using chocolate/sugar/food/sex/alcohol/drugs/exercise or some other form of escapism in excess to help you feel better, do you have a healthy routine, are you socialising enough/too much, are you making enough time for yourself, are you taking a bit of time out to do the things you enjoy doing, etc. Working on the practical behavioural side of your daily life can make a big difference. There are other methods of overcoming difficult phases, such as meditation or joining a support group. Whatever options you try out, and I recommend trying whichever you feel would be the best for you, its worth remembering that like all experiences, this one will eventually pass, and no matter what options you choose, the passage of time is always part of the process.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2012): the pain from the break up itself is just a passing phase. but if it triggers all kinds of other deep-seated issues those may stick around or lead to problems. I would suggest seeing a counselor.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (27 November 2012):
A bit of counselling sounds like it would do you some good. You kind of need to find out whether this phase is just about the break up with your ex, or whether there's something else going on, and that the whole 'ex't thing is just a symptom of something else.
...............................
|
