A
female
age
41-50,
*ustBU
writes:So here is my story, I am 26 years old and my boyfriend of two years is 38. I am well educated, as are all my friends. My boyfriend , however, is a complete opposite. He never went to college and he has a really bad job that doesn't pay anything. However, he is a great boyfriend. He is always supportive, caring, and extremely affecionate and I love being with him. He always treats me well. My friends, however, keep on telling me to brake up with him because he isn't good enough for me. They keep on saying he has no potential and I need to be with someone educated like me and who has a good job. How do I know that I really love him and I am not just settling as my friends are claiming? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Muscle and Sinew +, writes (16 July 2010):
 i have been married for three years and its very hard to settle with just the minimu, i have always been that kind of women that i thought as long as you have love thats all you need, but with all honesty you need more than that. especially if you want children, right there will put you in debt. and for him to be in his late 30s and not have any goals, its really hard to say that maybe he is depending on you. so i would say that your friends are just looking out for you, but you need to make that decision. to be in a relationship it has to be 50/50. the world does not and shouldnt evolve around $$, but when you want to have kids, stability , you have to plan that out.
its really hard and no one said it would be easy, but you need to think about this guy and ask if you can see yourself struggling because you would be the one bringing the majority of income.
i hope this helps?
M&S
A
male
reader, ALittleBird +, writes (16 July 2010):
What do you want for your future? Do you plan on a family? Children require financial stabilty. They want and need love and guidance more than money, so you do not have to be rich, but children are a big responsibility. School, medical care, clothing are big expenses.
I personally care more that someone is intellectually curious and a reader than whether they have a college degree. For some people, a degree is just something to get a job, and they lack curiousity and only read to get the education required to do what they want to do with their life. You have to decide whether he is an intellectual match for you. It can be frustrating when people do not match.
I'm not so interested in whether a person has a job, than if they are employed, that is they do something useful that contributes to their life and society. That they are passionate about something. That is my definition of employed.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2010): To answer your question u need to think to yourself how much is money really worth to u? If u are completely happy with this guy in every other way then how much he earns shud not be a factor. Money doesn't mean happiness! But if u feel that u are not compatible because u have different goals in life then maybe u should reconsider.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2010): This is something for only you to decide. I think your friends are putting a lot of thoughts into your head/influencing you to believe he isn't good enough for you. Don't listen to what they say, do what YOU want and what YOU think is best. If you aren't happy with him, or you feel as if you ARE only settling for him and not truly in love, then move on, find someone else you're better suited with.
Do what your heart tells you on this one, not what your friends tell you.
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A
female
reader, krunkqueen  +, writes (16 July 2010):
well it somewhat seems like your not sure of what you want or your friends are just making you feel that way... dont make decisions on your love life based on what anyone else tells you, you need to decide on your own. and life is not always about money or material things ... when you die you will take none of that with you but the sweet memories you and your loved ones have had.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (16 July 2010):
You already know, because you can't say to your friends that he's the one and that it doesn't matter what they say, and because you're having to ask our opinion. You've come here very unsure of how you feel, and your friends have picked up on it. Whilst their reasons are a bit materialistic, they can sense like I do that you're not totally happy with this. If you were, this question wouldn't have been asked, and you'd have told your friends that you appreciated their concern, but you loved him. And, in all fairness, you didn't even say you loved your boyfriend. You just said you love being with him. I don't think this will work out, because whilst you love being with him, you don't seem to love him.
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