A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years. We have had many issues thuoughout the years but have overcome most of them. He says he loves me and in the past I never doubted how I felt for him. We have spoken about marrage and kids. In our good times its almost celestial but in our bad times i can hardly bare it. I have given him my all during these years but there are a couple of issues that keep popping up (like a pattern). I feel like I have done everything to let him know how important it was to solve these issues and I feel it has even taken over my health and mind and I have cried, begged, been patient, etc. For him to do something about it and he didnt wake up this entire time. Finally I have stopped showing any sort of affection physically and emotionally, havent even wanted him to touch me at all and have put my wall up against him. Yesterday we went to see a therapist and i feel now more puzzled then ever. I face the decision of staying with him or leaving him. We have shared so much and he is like family to me and sometimes I feel like I love him and some times I just want to escape. He is now begging me to stay and says he wants to work things out and even cried and called me many times at work today but I have heard similar comments in the past. I am scared to do this again. The counsellor said for us to start trying new things and to go see her again after Valentines day. Help!! Any suggestions as to what I should do. Do I stay or do we move on?? Do I love him enough to go on and put myself out there again or do we give it up?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, OmegaXF  +, writes (20 January 2009):
 Well, for one you putting up a wall is a definite noooooo!
Getting rid of communication and feelings are an automatic I don't want this anymore. When you stop communication you stop caring, and in the long run your pushing the relationship away from you. Stop trying to fix your relationship by conventional means. Setup a day for both of you to be together and discuss inteligntly what both of you hate about each other, yourself, and what you guys love about each other. When you discuss what you cherish and express your true feelings towards people you will get to the bottom of everything. ^_^
Well I hope that can solve something
OmegaXF
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2009): Sorry but without knowing any of the specific issue's you've mentioned it's really hard to give you advice on this matter.This time though is different than the past as you're both getting the advice of a professional,I'd try what they suggest before making any permanent decisions, maybe stick with it for now and see if things can be worked out with the counsellors help, you'll be a lot happier in the future if you do, as even if it doesn't work out, you will know for sure that you tried everything to fix it. Good Luck!
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