A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am a in my late 20s and find myself in a sticky situation. Currently dating a great girl with a good head on her shoulder, good job, and comes from the school of thought women should cater to the man and men are meant to be providers. Great cook and fun to be with. Been with her for a year and some change. Love her.There is also another woman that has been in my life since kindergarten...literally. We grew up together, familys moved apart for a few years but we reunited when we were about 17 for a summer when we were in the same city. We've always had a crush on each other so that summer we dated and things were great. I moved away for college, she moved overseas and we communicated via email and phone the next few years. Saw her from time to time when she returned to the US but the relationship fizzled due to distance. Fast forward to about 7 years later and we found ourselves communicating again. This time as adults with a sense for what we want in a relationship. She has since came to the US to see me twice for a week at a time and I am truly in love with this girl. Though we have limited physical interaction as adults, extensive conversations and we just click. Familys know each other and many mutual friends. She is moving back to the US soon and I want to know what I should do?? Leave current girl for old fling I think is the woman made for me or just wait to see what happens? The girl I grew up with doesn't know I'm dating seriously and she expects us to try to give us a real shot.I've also lead her on as well so its partly my fault.Any suggestions appreciated...don't want to break my current girls heart but I don't want to always think about what could have been with m first love...
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (25 November 2009):
 It's not partly your fault, it's entirely your fault for not having the sense or decency to tell this other woman you're already taken. You're considering leaving a woman that loves you and clearly wants to make you happy, just to explore a what-if that isn't guaranteed to work out. You can't have them both, so stop wondering about what could've been and come clean about already being in a serious relationship.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2009): it sounds like the girl you have now is great from what you said, so i would think very carefully, before letting someone go for a girl from the past.
but...you will follow your heart regardless of any advice given here, if you do choose the girl from the past then id suggest letting the current girlfriend go now, do not lead her on any longer, so that she can go and find someone who loves her.
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