A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband has been abusing me for 4 years, he even went to prison for his abuse before.I am now at the point where I have lost all my self esteem and confidence and he is really trying to break me down now very badly. I feel so weak and like I can't leave.He is humiliating me in front of family and friends and I am re acting with anger and crying and then he is making out I am going crazy. It has got to the point that one of my family members has said they will get me put in the mental hospital, but I know they know it's my husband abusing me and they probably want to get me help and away from him, as they don't like him at all.All my husband said was would I be able to have a mobile phone in the hospital and was interested that I would get good money from the benefits for being ill. I am due to get the keys for a property tomorrow and my husband does not know where it is, I am thinking just to go and cut all contact as my friends say that's what I must do, but I don't know if I'm strong enough. This man has used me for money, and done nothing but abuse me. I feel so angry and upset all the time. I just feel he has no heart. Time and time again he has lied and broke promises to me. And now he is just making me crazy.
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confidence, money, self esteem Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2015): well did you do it?Are you finally free of this manipulative ^^^^ard?At least you have allies in your family.You will realise after one ir two days or weeks of quiet adjustment that you are perfectly capable of living quite comfortably without this former jail bird in your life.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (12 November 2015):
 I will give you a list of websites you can check out.
http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/
http://england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice/domestic_abuse/leaving_domestic_abuse
http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/leaving_an_abusive_relationship_and_your_safety.html
If you are using the "family computer" I suggest you clear the history afterwards.
And that you tell SOMEONE you can trust (to not tell him) that you have left and where you are.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2015): oh dont doubt youre not strong enough!
You are very strong!
Strong enough to fix up a house he knows nothing about!
Congratulations, you are not only strong but smart enough to realise he really would incarcerate you and manipulate you for the rest of your life!
Are you strong enough to leave without telling him.
Hell yes!
You are amazing!
Wonderful.
Fantastic.
Brilliant.
Just make sure you take a kettle and a mobile and dont take his calls.
Have a decent friend if needed but sister you have got ways and means if you have got this far away alone.
You are probably surrounded by angels who want to rescue you and i am sure you are worth every moment of their celestial attention.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2015): Do not tell him and you MUST cut contact thoroughly. Minimise who you tell as he will try and get them to reveal your location. Much respect to you for getting a place lined up. Please contact Womens Aid. There is no shame in getting the right support for your circumstances and they are fantastic. I have been in a similar situation to you. This is not the life you dreamed of. How dare he rob you of that.
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (11 November 2015):
Run! You have a way out! Do it safely. Enlist people you can trust to not tell him where you are ONLY. Do it while he is gone. File a protective order. Under no circumstances contact him. Change your number. Get your money out of any joint accounts. Plan carefully and quickly and do it all on the same day.
You can do this, and you need to! Call your local women's crisis center. They can walk you through everything you need to do. You need an advocate.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (11 November 2015):
You said you have lost your self-esteem...My dear...I would strongly suggest you leave before you lose more than your esteem.
If you live in fear of the one who is suppose to love you...that is not a relationship or marriage.
You may want to stay because you are afraid...but do you know what courage is???
Courage.....Being afraid to do what is right, but doing it anyway because it is the right thing to do.
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