A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey well im 15. But when i was 2 from 3 years old my older half brother molested me he was 12 threw 13 at the time i think. I dont remaber it at all. I only know what my mom said. He thought they were next door but my mom wasnt an she cought him in the act and he told her every thing. I hate him for what he did to me when i was little. But do i have a right to hate him cuz i dont remember any of it? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010): yes you have reason x
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 April 2010):
 He is a pediophile.. and unfortunately your brother as well. To be frank I would cut all ties with him. He is NOT a good person to have any kind of relationship with.
*hugs* And I'm sorry someone hurt you.
...............................
A
female
reader, asdfg +, writes (7 April 2010):
I've been in your shoes, except that it was my dad. I can't remember a thing to this day, but my dad admitted it in court and I testified to it when I was like 5.
You totally have a right to. I denied what happened for a very long time and even moved in with the guy when I "grew up" and turned 18, and I totally regret it because he was an even bigger a*hole than I could have imagined, and very perverted.
You totally have the right to hate him. He violated you. He doesn't deserve your sympathy.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010): Yes you still have valid reason to hate him even if you cant remember it.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tasmanian devil  +, writes (7 April 2010):
 Yes your his little sister, he should protect you not take advantage, but is there any point to this hate? You have to put the experience behind you and move on. Just be wary of him, but what will you get from harbouring resentment?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys for all your ansewrs and he still is a perv when he was 17 he molested another girl and had to go to court for it. Thats also why i stongly dislike him. Hes done worse stuff to me then molest me though. I was just confused cuz i dont remaber and he never brought it up so i dont know if i should act like hes my brothor or a pedifile.
...............................
A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (7 April 2010):
 I'm not sure how it benefits you to hate him. As the other answer mentions if he today is someone you would consider 'bad news', then be wary of him by all means.
You're going to have all sorts of situations in life where someone does you wrong where you remember the hurt acutely. Nursing a hatred for something you don't recall doesn't seem very productive to me.
...............................
A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (7 April 2010):
 What kind of person is he today? Does he show any remorse? Has he tried to ask for forgiveness? Has he tried to do it again to anybody else? These questions are all important and will influence how you proceed. That was at least 15 years ago, so if he has let a normal life since then and hasn't shown any additional signs of being a pedophile.. I'd say you don't have to hate him.
If he's a trouble maker, in trouble with the law, and has had additional sexual molestation cases since then, you should probably just stay away from him.
As far as hating him, either way? I don't think you need to hate him. Forgiving him doesn't mean you have to be close to him or even loving him.
...............................
A
female
reader, BettyBoup +, writes (7 April 2010):
 Of course you have the right to hate him. You have the right to feel however you do feel about him. You must have many complicated feelings about this. As you don't have any memories of this, how can you know if it's true? You can only know what you have been told. Have you had counselling over this? Has your brother had help for what he's done? At 12 he was a child too. He needs help to realise what he did was wrong. I think its a little unfair for your mum to tell you about something of which you had no memory at your age. It's one thing to be honest about things but its quite a big thing to have to comprehend at 15. I wish you luck with this and I'd suggest talking to a professional about this. I think family counselling would be very helpful for you. Perhaps you and your mum.
Goodluck
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010): not sure you have a right to hate - he was a child too remember and we all do stupid things when we are young, including exploring our sexuality perhaps in unsuitable ways. I was molested by a nursery worker when i was 3 or 4 and have no memory either of the events however since i don't remember, i did not feel need to feel bitterness or anger - it wasn't right what was done to me but it would be even more wrong to be bitter over something i had no clue about had no one told me. You are just hurting yourself and your family by staying mad - let it go and if your brother is still a bit of a perv now then be mad and ignore him, but remember he was just a stupid kid and maybe just maybe, he has grown up and matured a hell of a lot sinces then. Give him a chance and don't hold resentment is my advice.
...............................
|
