A
female
age
36-40,
*ala2087
writes:I've been with my boyfriend almost a year now and everything is absolutely perfect to me. I've never loved a man the way I love him. I've been in relationships before, but we both feel we’re made for each other. He treats me very good, but sometimes it gets annoying. Not in a bad way thought. He wants to be together every night when I’m working fulltime and he's usually good about it, but that's really my only complaint.However, recently he deleted his Facebook for work reasons, but not even 3 weeks later he re-added me because he missed all my pictures and seeing what I was up too. So the other night I got home late from work and I wanted to surprise him with a sweet comment I wrote from my heart. Well long story short I look at his friend list and I see these fat girls with there breasts popping out everywhere and I remembered one of them from when he first had his Facebook. I confronted him about it and he denied it, and said she some girl from Myspace that re added him.Well I knew he was lying and the more he lied the angrier I got and the more I cried. Finally he said, “omg what's the big deal its Facebook, who cares, I don't even know what her face looks like, I just know she has huge breasts.” Then he told me she's like some stupid porn star or some D-class wanna-be porn star and he asked me why it bothers me if he looks at random girls he had on his friend list with big boobs when it doesn't bother me if he looks at porn? I said it bothers me because Facebook is a site used to talk to people, not to jerk off, and I asked why he had to re add her. He said he looks at everything and every site that has girls with big breasts and he didn't even think twice about it.I believe he doesn't talk to her and I know he just used it to get off. But it was the fact he lied which hurt, and the fact he re added her. I know he didn't make a new Facebook page just for her because he's not stupid enough to add me too. So from there he begged with me that he didn't talk to her, he didn’t do anything wrong, that he was sorry, that he loves me… basically doing everything he could to assure I wouldn't leave him. He deleted his Facebook too.Do I have a right to be upset about this or am I overreacting? I just feel he has a porn addiction and its kind of creeping me out.
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female
reader, lala2087 +, writes (22 February 2011):
lala2087 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you I know he deleted it and that made me feel better I guess its like there were 2 girls with there tits out I dunno it makes me think he has a thing for her but than again many men don't even think twice they see shit that turns thhem on and go for it I mean I loooked at his comp I never seen so much porn in my life.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2011): Facebook is not porn, he can talk to these woman.
Look he obviously cares about you and respects your feelings as he deleted facebook. Facebook causes lot relationships to fail, its temptation on your door and people get carried away not realizing what their doing can hurt the partner
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A
female
reader, lala2087 +, writes (21 February 2011):
lala2087 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys but my dilemma is I spoke to him so many times about it and I don't want to break up with him because I love him but I can't get passed it really. It still bothers me its the damn lying. I really believe him when he says he didn't talk to her and the fact that she's almost like a porn star in a way kinda makes me feel better. But the times I've tried to explain it to him it scared me bcuz he really was like not getting it like the whole time he said I didn't nothing wrong she has her tits out like a porn star I don't care about her. So I said the thing about there's so manyporn sites out there why that slut and he's like all I do is look at porn when im bored and since he's laid off its become almost an addiction to him he was like I was on fb looking at me he got horny and wanted to look at big boobs and didn't even think twice I just really don't know what to do. And I happen to be big chested myself so he said before he looks at tha stuff cuz it reminds him of me. Im so lost.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (21 February 2011):
 "everything is absolutely perfect to me"
oh that is alright then.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (21 February 2011):
 Yes, you have a right to be upset.
I have only one other comment about his actions: UGH - Yuck! : - (
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2011): Yeah you do have a right to feel upset about it. Facebook is a social networking site not a porn site and this is a real woman he can actually contact through Facebook. That's a step too far.
Tell him to delete them that they're too close to home, they're not just actresses they're people that he has a means of contacting. Regular porn is fantasy, regular porn sites are for jerking off, they live a million miles away and he can't get contact them. Facebook should be reserved for friends and that's it. There is enough anonymous porn out there for him to use and it makes you far too uncomfortable for him to be doing that on Facebook.
Just tell him you don't mind him using porn as long as he doesn't lie about it and he keeps it to anonymous women that he has no way of ever meeting.
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