A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:before i start, this is quite long. but please bare with me.. i really need help!my boyfriend and i deleted facebook last september as we are going to set up a twitter instead (: ..anyway, there is a guy who's 'best friends' with my boyfriend. i personall feel he's never really been a good friend to him, but he has been friends with him since he was young.my boyfriend classes him as his 'best mate', though i wouldn't like to say he was.after we'd been together about 6 months, we broke up and his 'best friend' started texting me and asking to meet up. of course i said no and that i wanted my boyfriend back.. so me and my boyfriend sorted out our problems. i told him about his friend hitting on me and he didn't know what to do.. so he just left it...but the other day we found out he'd been slagging my boyfriend and i off on facebook. we both went back on to see what he was writing....him and a girl (i used to be friends with) were taking the piss out of our old facebook statuses, saying they were soppy and pathetic. and if they were ever down, our wall comments would crack them up laughing.his 'best friend' and this girl were being really sarcastic, taking the mic out of what i used to say to my boyfriend. they kept saying they always used to take rip the sh*t out of us (again, something which we didn't know about) and that his 'best mate' would ring her and rant about how much he hated my boyfriend.in my personal opinion i think it's quite sad that a year down the line after getting rid of fb, they still take the mic out of it.buttttt ..what has annoyed me, is that my boyfriend had it out with his 'best friend' and he told me he was going to cut all ties with him. he didn't need a friend who would talk behind his back..but now he's turned around and said that he can forgive but not forget, all because this guy has said sorry (though i personally don't think he's sorry at all)it's really upset me, because it's not just my boyfriend, but me aswell, who this guy has been slagging off. and i don't get a sorry.do i have any right to be mad at him about who he wants to be friends with? and after it all, should he still be friends with him?
View related questions:
broke up, facebook, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, KeighleySky +, writes (22 June 2010):
 And i've been glad to help, if you ever have another problem and need to talk just come to dear cupid x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you so much! i totally know.
i have a feeling he'll be blowing me off on saturday (as it's my dad's birthday bbq)for one of the friend who slagged him & me off.. in which case i will tell him where to go!
i'm not being made to be an idiot. & i only ever show i care. he was fuming with me yesterday, saying i'd ruined his fun.. but tbh, i think it's easier now just to not care about him. then he'll soon be complaining.
thank you for your advice. you've been a star!
xx
...............................
A
female
reader, KeighleySky +, writes (20 June 2010):
For one it isnt the same with your dad as his friends. His friends didn't take part in making him did they? We all have to forgive our parents for whatever they've done because without them we wouldn't have been born.
He cant say it's the same because it bloody well isnt! YOU are HIS girlfriend, you should be one of his main priorities. Maybe if the cards were turned he would feel differently, but right now it sounds as if his back stabbing friends are the side he's on.
I really don't understand men, they say we are too emotional and we let our feelings fly or whatever, yet maybe if they treated us women better we wouldn't get so emotional.
Next time he wants to make plans blow him off, its like i saw to my bf's little sister (long story but basically she stole a chip from her older sister and when her older sister went to steal one back she cried) i told her that she cant expect to steal someone else's food and not have hers stolen back-same as he cant expect to cancel plans with you and you not do it in return.
Good luck darlin' x
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyeah i will deffo do something along them lines!
he's gotten really personal..
i confronted him about it all & i said i was mad that he'd just forgive his friends like that & not bother with me after..
he brought up how i talk about my dad & just forgive him, saying it's the same.. (this really really upset me as my mum is planning on leaving my dad) so he was really insensitive.
...............................
A
female
reader, KeighleySky +, writes (20 June 2010):
Tell him that he cant blow you off for people who use him, he's upsetting you and he needs to learn. I would plan a girls night out and just have a good time with my girly pals.
Do soemthing fun, like go to the cinema or pamper yourself for the day, retail therapy would be good lol x
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you, that advice is good.
he's actually blown off our plans today as he's gone out with his friends. i've not text him at all as if i do, i'll probably say something i regret.
how would you get around this problem?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your advice. i do understand now.
last night, my boyfriend had a lads night for his birthday but his friends turned up two hours late. i was so mad, it just got to me even more because his friends just seem to use him.
he'd been texting me all night saying how upset he was & stuff. but then as soon as they turned up, it was like he'd forgotten i existed!
...............................
A
female
reader, KeighleySky +, writes (19 June 2010):
Me personally? I'd have it out with him myself. You should turn around to him next time you see him and tell him he's a pr*ck and that he owes you an apology. You need to down size him, tell him he's not worthy of a forgiving friend like your boyfriend.
Or do what i did, i really don't like one of my bf's friends cause he went out with my bf's ex a few days after they broke up and he stopped on his bike near us and said hello to my bf, i really cant stand him so i just said goodbye and walked off holidng my bf's hand.
If your bf says anything tell him he needs to learn that he cant get away with slagging both of you off after coming on to you when you and your bf split up.
...............................
|
