A
female
age
36-40,
*urpleshoes84
writes:Do I have any hope of a reconciliation for a third time? In reference to my last post...cutting a long story short we met last year online, Long distance etc we split up first time coz he wasn't ready etc...I knew how I felt really loved him, couple of months ago we got talking again and we got it back on, i went back to see him again about 2 months ago, but my insecurities got the better of me, felt amazing when i was with him, but i think I was still carrying the heart ache from last time, we have been arguing for nearly two weeks, I know it's my fault because I had some trust issues, but he finally got fed up and finished it with me a few days ago, i have been feeling in turmoil, said some nasty things that i didn't mean felt rejected etc, we have been chatting again on msn and texts, i told him that he meant the world to me and i know i'd been stupid etc, so we are kinda talking now, he has been distant but i really can't argue with that after the way i've been, i realise the error of my ways now, so he mentioned us being friends and moving possibly onto dating and then to see if we can build something from that.. I am supporting his decision because I know that we couldn't jump back into things because it would be a disaster, I just can't face the fact that I don't get called sweet names and kisses any texts and laughter with anymore, and it guts me even more because I know now if i'd of been stronger then we would be spending christmas together and i would get to see him open his presents, sorry that this is so long he means the world to me...I made a boob tonight by saying 'if you are wanting to see other people, then i guess i have no say anymore..' I realised what i'd said when I said it, I wasn't been nasty or jealous, I truly don't want to hold him back, perhaps I'm having a hard time grasping that we are just buds again.I don't want to date anyone else, I told him that, even though I know I could, I really do not want to, the thought makes me feel sick. You know when you wish you could turn back time lol.guess i just want to know what you girls/guys would do...
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christmas, jealous, long distance, msn, split up, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Purpleshoes84 +, writes (29 November 2009):
Purpleshoes84 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hey to the annonymous writer,can i send you a message because something happened, if you can read this? x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2009): Hi Dear,
Just wanted you to know, your question reminds me of the situation I am in. I had a realtionship with a man eight years ago, im 33. I dumped him and int he course of the 8 years he moved to Maryland. We got back this summer and something was wrong. The intimacy was wonderful but I was never called while he was away in MD. He told me finally that he wanted to pusue a relationship wtih someone else and I found out he was with her the entire time. I love this man more than anything and now he is calling and telling me he is with her but misses me. Still he doesnt want to get back and the thought of being friends tears me up and the thought of him totally gone tears me up. My advice to you, do NOT TELL HIM you will not see others. Agree with him that this is best and agree to be friends. Tell him you realize he is right (even though you dont feel this, do it. he wil wonder how you are getting over it so fast, people want what they cant have. If you do this and he calls, there is a chance, if not, try to put that feeling of romance into another man. I have dated and I hate the men Ive gone out with wanting him back so I get where you are coming from. But agree with him and he will wonder if there is anything in him. This is professional advice ive read about, put in place and it worked. Dont say you dont want to be friends, dont say you will nto date others, just say "I think you are right and Im really ok with being friends" Sit back and try to digest that and believe it. Wait. Surround youself with friends and keep busy. The phone will ring. Good Luck
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (26 November 2009):
It didn't work first time, and it hasn't worked the second time. It won't work i don't think. Long distance relationships need huge commitment from both parties, and he just doesn't sound that committed to you to be honest. I think you need to be brave and move on with your life. There will be a guy out there for you, but it's not him.
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