A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I appreciate all the advice I can get and thank you all ahead of time fort reading and your thoughts. So me and the guy ill call him D had been together for just over three hours and it was amazing, we were so happy and had begun to seriously start talking about getting engaged and the big steps in life we were gunna take together. At this point he then confessed to some things he had done 2 years ago while we were on a "break" needless to say I was unberable cruel to him and everyone involved and this lasted for 4 months of him pouring his heart into me while I crushed it. It was like this off and on some good days some bad. The final straw came when I would not let him see any of his friends because I was so paranoid scared and such. This took its toll and he left me. We have now been apart for 4 months with no contact the past 3. I have been seeing a counsleor to work on my own issues and why I acted out the way I did. He talks to evryone else about how hurt he was by me that I couldn't see what we had and didn't trust him. He goes on to ask everyone about me and to look after me and such and that he cares so much about me. He is confusing even with what he says to them about wnating to be my friend and maybe in time put the past behind us and start over but then saying he dosnt know if he can be my friend yet because he still cares so deeply about me. He has said none of this to me. Originally saying time will tell and we need to move on from each other if we could ever really start fresh and be over the past. I called him after hearing how he wanted to be friends but to me he was. Nice although stating its best if were not friends. Why is he so confusing!? I know I broke his heart but I would never act the way I did again. I have learned and grown and want to continue working on me. To go from talking about marriage to this is devastating. What can I do? What are your thoughts on where he is at??? Do I have any chance of reuiniting with him. And should I date to get my mind off him?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Mels  +, writes (3 February 2009):
The only person who can answer your question is your ex.
Ask him directly and tell him all you said here, highlight the fact that you are seeing a counsellor and working on your issues and becoming a better person.
If he still isn't interested, try to move on but pls be careful not to do anything stupid on the rebound, or more ppl will be hurt, including yourself.
Good luck
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