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Do I have any chance of rekindling my relationship?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 November 2008) 8 Answers - (Newest, 26 November 2008)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Do I have any chance of rekindling my relationship?

My ex girlfriend of 10 years found another girl's earrings at my place. She had moved out two weeks prior after I told her I needed a temporary break. She came over to do some laundry and found the earrings. When questioned, I admitted that I had oral sex with the girl but didn't go any further. She said it was way to soon to do that and I violated her trust. I never intended for her to find out and I had every intention of getting back together with her in the future. Do I still have a chance?

View related questions: ex girlfriend, moved out, oral sex

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A female reader, agneeman South Africa +, writes (26 November 2008):

agneeman agony auntThere's a song by Beyonce called "Resentment" Listen to it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2008):

I agree with everyone who has responded to you! There's no sense in repeating what has already been said. And frankly...I don't have time to...I would rather spend my time and energy replying to someone that truly needs to hear some suggestions! I think you were just looking for someone to condone your behavior and obviously, you didn't get it here! Do you have a chance of rekindling the relationship???? Hopefully Not a Chance in Hell!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2008):

You've copped a fair bit of flack from the ladies here. I'm just curious: If you intended going back to her all along, what was the point of the break? Everyone is assuming that you broke up with her temporarily so that you could have a bit on the side, but it would be nice to know exactly what your motivation was. That might have some bearing on whether you still have a chance.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2008):

Teacake speaks truth. if you realllly want her back...you're gonna have to do a LOT...besides...you stayed with her for 10 years and no marriage? what the heck?

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A female reader, agneeman South Africa +, writes (21 November 2008):

agneeman agony auntAre you KIDDING ME? Re-read your letter but this time swap "me" for "her" and "her" for "me". Imagine the roles were reversed? Do you get the idea? Do you even care about this girl... I mean if she's that disposable and meaningless to you that you could CHUCK her out like a dog... and replace her with some floozy... unfortunately, I'm not allowed to swear at you- so I can't tell you what I really think. What on earth did she do to deserve this kind of treatment from you? WOULD you want to get back together with you... after THIS?

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A female reader, Teacake United States +, writes (21 November 2008):

Teacake agony auntWomen hate the idea that they can be so easily replaced. They hate the idea that you had as much pleasure with someone else, something they hoped was something special just between the both of you. If you can enjoy another so quickly, then she feels she is just the same as any random woman.

If you love her and don't really want to loose her, are you ready to be exclusive for a long long time? IF so, you need to go out of your way to show her how important she is to you. But it takes a looooooonnnnng time for a woman to get over an emotional shock and what she sees as a betrayal. Not impossible, but you really have to work to have her back. Good luck.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2008):

if it was me, tell you the truth, would probably be devastated right now, and wouldn't trust you in a future. Were you planning to have sex with other women, when you told her that you need space? She said it was too soon, did she know that you were going to see other women during you break?

I don't know how it works when people temporary break, never did it myself, so wish you to hear more from other people here.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (21 November 2008):

Oh well as long as you didn't plan on getting caught...

You asked for a break, chucked her out, and went out for sex with other girls.

It doesn't matter if you planned on having a bit of fun and then going back to your dutiful girlfriend.

She has enough self respect that she is not willing to wait for a guy who wants to go out and cheat on her by saying he wanted a "temporary break."

You've lost your chance I'm afraid.

Good Luck!! xx

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