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female
,
anonymous
writes: I fell in love with one of my closest male friends (we are both 14 - nearly 15) and as you can imagine i was overjoyed when he started showing clear signs of liking me(eg holding and touching my hand). This carried on for quite a while and he knew i liked him and he had been discussing whether to ask me out with another of my friends. Although he had always been aware of the friendship we had and recently sent me a really sweet letter telling me basically that he'd be lost without me and our friendship was too great. Of course i was upset but i backed off slightly but he still flirts with me (though not as much). He is now dating an ex of his again and its really hard to see them together even though i get the strong impression that he keeps away from me when showing her affection (which is rarely). I doubt that things will develop between us and i dont want in any way to try and split him and his girlfriend up as all i've ever wanted is for him to be happy but i was just wondering if anyone had any ideas on why he acts like he does and whether i may have a chance with him one day(or anything else you can think of which could help).x X x X x X x
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2006): (original sender)
Thank you all for the advice x
Two different ideas have been posted here and i really don't know which to follow. Either to wait for him to make up his mind or to stop hoping that he will change his mind.
Two things that i should have mentioned before which may or may not have mattered.
We met in our primary school (5th year) and have now known eachother nearly 6 years. We were really close friends then and i did not have such strong feelings for him then as i do now -- although there was definately something between us.
I said the girl he is dating now was his ex. They have been out countless times before now (and not for very long each time). I get the impression from this that he must really like her and keeps trying to make it work.
I'm sure there are other things that i have not mentioned but bottom line is i can't get over him so easily even though i know i have to.
Thanks again x x x x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2006): I think all i can say to you, is just to wait and be patient. Maybe your male friend is confused about his feelings for you. I was in the exact same position as you before where i told my best male friend that i liked him, he was shocked and said that he didn't know what he wanted, then after me, waiting patiently for 2 months he came to me and told me he liked me, we have been boyfriend/girlfriend for 9 months now. Just wait and see what happens with him and his girlfriend.hoped i've helped.
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A
female
reader, eye contact +, writes (15 April 2006):
 there are friendships that develop into romantic relationships and intimate relationships that change over time and become friendships.Relationships like people and their needs change and grow over time.the important thing is to be honest with others without using or confusing them. it seems your friend made the choice to be with someone else and loves you only as a friend.you have to accept that without trying to convince or manipulate him or even worse keep hoping that things will change in the future.that will affect and compromise your friendship and create resentment and suffering for you.on the other hand your friend needs to be respectful,honest and considerate in your regards.that means not carrying on giving you false signals or changing his mind all the time about you two.there are times we all feel vulnerable,make mistakes and have second thoughts.it is obvious your friend values you as a person and is not willing to lose or damage what you have.you have the choice to by pass what happened and keep the relationship --if that means to you- and if you trully think you can only be friends ,without this causing suffering for you.you may need to have a face to face discussion and talk over things,to clear the air and be able to continue without keeping feelings and thoughts to yourselves.as it always happens ,am sure,the one for you,the one who is really for you,will appear in your life and chances are it will be less complicated and more reciprocal.however as i know that disappointment can be a bad feeling,my thoughts are with you.good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2006): HiyaI think this boy is confuzed. I think he likes you, but he's not quite sure whether he likes you as a friend or as more. One minute sending you sweet notes and the next with another girl. But he obviously cares about you as he doesn't want you to be hurt by him showing affection to his girlfriend.I'd say that for the minute he's off bounds. If he does become available, then I think you should leave it up to him. He's got to make up his mind how he feels about you. And if you pressurise him he'll just take longer.So I know it's really annoying but you should just wait until he knows what he wants.Hope this helpsxxx
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