A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:hi,my ex boyfriend of around a year talked 2 me today...we've split up last oct. and since then we havent talked, except when recently he sent me a greeting message on an occasion, then afterwards I sent him a message asking on him and his work, later he replied...he's on my msn list we didn't block each others but we never talk but after those messages I talked to him this once last month..it was for 5 min only just how are you and how's everything, he said that everything sucked, the reason I started the conversation with him was cos I had this inner feeling that he wasnt okay and since he replied to me I knew that certainly there's something wrong... yesterday on my msn personal message I wrote "waiting...what's worse than that??" I didn't mean him by any way, am waiting for a new job... I found that he wrote in his personal message "yeah, what else???" I had this feeling that he meant me by this...then today I wrote "sometimes I miss u, sometimes I hate u" then he started the conversation, it was normal talking how's work and everything, he didnt say anything concerning us, however he kept talking about my work and this, then he asked me stuff concerning my work about if he wants to make an ad how much will it cost and if it has animation and stuff like that... then without saying bye or anything he left... I felt like maybe he left this way in order to continue the conversation later someday, cos if he said bye then that would be it, he'd have to come up with something if he wants to talk 2 me again...I wont start up the conversation with him if I see him online, however do u think he only talked 2 me to just ask about the add thing? or is he trying 2 win me back but slowly?cos he's the type of guy who's having fun hanging out with his buddies drinking and stuff like that, he's not into commitment, and am unlike everybody he knows, so when he comes to me I know he's fed up of his world and wants something pure...I wont deny that I've feelings 4 him still and I didnt commit 2 any 1 else, however I know that things didnt work between us cos of his life style that's different than mine, and that I couldnt affect him, he affected me greatly but my presence was of no effect on him, I want to affect him, I can't move on with another..yet I dont want him 2 be an asshole once again...I now have the chance 2 start over, I know he's not back and if he doesnt try 2 talk 2 me again then all this is blown off, but I want to be strong and if I could this chance I'd be able to affect him without havint the fear of losing him...any advice here?!thnx alot!!!
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male
reader, Royofthe Rovers  +, writes (5 June 2007):
 I believe you need to give yourself the space you need. If he really wants you back then he will make the effort to do so. Giving chase to him and getting let down will only bring back those feelings of despair and loss which you have tried to leave behind you up till now.
maybe it was just a polite conversation, but just see how it develops and make him do the work so you know where you stand with him.
If he wants to change his ways then its up to him to show it and not up to you do do that for him.
Stay strong..
R
A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (5 June 2007):
 I would say definatly don't contact him again, if he wants anything more from you he will contact you if not it could be that he was just making polite conversation.
Take care.xx.
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