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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I want to be with a girl who I feel is absolutely perfect in every way, but there are several problems that I'm not sure how to overcome. I'm 21 and so is she, we both go to the same university. I can't stop thinking about her and I get the feeling she likes me too. But one huge problem is we hardly see each other. She lives in a private house and I live in student accomodation. I go out clubbing a lot but she only goes out on rare occasions and we do completely different courses so we never see each other at uni. We're not too close as friends for me to say, go up to her house to see her or suggest we meet up in town so what can I do to solve this dilemma?The second problem is she has a boyfriend, although they are on and off. Her boyfriend is a nice enough guy but a couple of months ago he dumped her by text even though they had been going out for 18 months, which I thought was really disrespectful and I couldn't believe she took him back. Last time I saw her in a club she told me she really wanted to get with another guy, which kinda gave me the message that she didn't want to be with her boyfriend.The third and final problem is that even though I feel like she likes me too I don't know whether I'm getting the wrong end of the stick. Our most common form of communication is chatting online and there's a bit of harmless flirting, but not much else. Also the other day she asked me a completely random question just to strike up a conversation, so is this a sign?I'm really in need of some help - do I go for it and tell her I like her or am I just chasing a hopeless dream? Any advice you could give would be great.
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clubbing, flirt, has a boyfriend, she has a boyfriend, text, university Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, gigi_fire  +, writes (18 February 2010):
 Dear Friend,
You never get apples on the tree if you don't throw stones at the tree. This is exactly what your predicament is. I know it is very hard to ask someone out is they are your closest friends. But don't you think it is better to ask and put to rest all doubts than to worry about it forever and watch and wonder as to what could/could not have been yours.
Just go for it. Don't ask her this through chat. You would be just as disrespectful as her previous boyfriend. Ask her if you can meet her during recess to for a few mins after class. It takes some courage i am sure, but it is for the best i assure you.
Just be truthful to her. Tell her what you think about her. Have faith in yourself. Cause i have faith in you.
Best of Luck !!! :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2010): give it a try.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2010): Sounds like she likes you - if I told a guy I was more interested in being with someone else than with my boyfriend... well, there's not much point saying that to a guy you're not interested in. She was probably trying to drop hints to you.
As for what you can do - when you're talking online, I think you should say something like "I don't know how he can treat you like that (when talking about breaking up by text). I could never hurt you like that if you were my girlfriend". Just start with some hints like that and see how she responds. It could become obvious she's interested in you or you could at least become closer by talking about your problems and it'll be easier to meet up with her.
She is probably uncertain because she's still in another relationship, which isn't a good situation. Normally I wouldn't recommend you going for it, but he sounds like he's really not good for her!
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