A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I don't know what to do. Please help. I am currently taking a break from my boyfriend becuase I'm trying to get over my ex that I thought I was over but cleary am not. I broke up with my ex and had to change my number and email because he wouldn't leave me alone when I broke up with him. I broke up with him because he was emotionally abusive and disrespectful. It would take a long time to explain all the details. I emailed him on Saturday asking if he is at all sorry for the things he did, and he said yes. He also wants me to call him, and said that he always did care, and still does. That's where I don't know what to do. I'd like to believe he has changed and is truly sorry for everything, but when he apologized he didn't give specific examples for what he was sorry for except for going to Florida for 2 months without me right after we got engaged-he apologized for that. So, is he really sorry for how he pressured me to smoke and drink and got mad if i didn't? Is he sorry for getting mad that I originally slept with him and then stopped doing so because of religious beliefs-which made him pressure me and get mad if I didn't saying I either was cheating or didn't love him? Is he sorry for making me apologize for wanting to buy a car at it's asking price because I needed one desperately before we moved out of state because my parents took my car? Is he sorry for saying I usually didn't do anything right? Is he sorry for insulting me in public-bringing a teflon pan I ruined by accident up to the store clerk to show what I did? Is he sorry for forcing me to walk back from work simply because he talked about one of his friends sleeping with his girlfriend and I didn't want to hear it so I walked out of a restaurant, we were getting take out from and drove next door and so he walked home-when he could have called! Is he sorry for saying I should grow my hair out, and for telling me to not eat beef jerky because it was fattening even though I only weigh 115? Is he sorry for checking out peopole in front of me? Is he sorry for getting mad at me because I didn't pack his clothes right or his food for a trip he went on, and didn't want to be at his house when he arrived home because he would get in late and I had work early the next day? Is he sorry for getting mad at me because I didn't want him to buy back my car from my dad to keep for his own when it was my graduation present and I had made payments on it for a full year? Is he sorry for slamming the wall and pots and pans and keeping me up when he was mad at me? Is he sorry for throwing my phone and purse and blocking the driveway when I was going to go out with friends just because he was mad I didn't cook his fries enough or overcooked them? Is he sorry for shoving me out of his rv because I was mad he checked out a girl camping? These are only about eight of the things that happened and though my current boyfriend is respectful except for also blocking the door when he didn't want to leave and I wanted him to, I miss my ex and want to be with him-kind of. He said he started reading the Bible, I want to believe he has changed because we did share some great times. What do I do? Not call and always miss him, or call and go back to him and always think I could have lived a happier life with my current boyfriend? I don't want to lead any of them on, I just don't know what to do. I'm afraid if I don't call my ex soon, since he's moving back here, he will meet some girl-probably blonde like me, and they will hook up. He used to always say if he saw a good looking blonde or whatever. What do I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (7 October 2008):
It's so easy to say "I'm sorry, I've changed, please call me I miss you so much, life without you isn't worth living."
I just said it. Do you think that I have changed and do you want to go out with me now?
He's a jerk and you were right to dump him. Just keep telling yourself that men like that never change and you deserve better.
Take your time and when you are ready to accept that there are better guys out there for you then give your new boyfriend a call.
Good Luck!! xx
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