A
female
age
51-59,
*evalearn
writes:I split from my husband 8 months ago, we have a 10 month old baby and a 3 yo. I found out he had been sleeping with prostitutes the whole time we were married (4 years) I caught an infection from him and had a miscarriage in between our 2 kids that we have. He also lies on a regular basis about big stuff and small stuff. Problem is I love him so deeply and am struggling to get over him. I also find my financial situation (I have 2 older kids from a previous relationship) is really getting on top of me. He is quite wealthy. He has never apologised for the prostitutes but I believe he will change his behaviour in that department. My question, do I go back to him because it is easier, and I do love him and miss him very much, or do I tough it out and move on. I know most people would think move on, but life is hard now and it was so easy with him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2008): Read the first 4-5 lines of your post. Would you advise anyone to get back with a guy like that??
Sleeping with prostitutes obviously became 'the norm' or an addiction to him. He hasnt appologised - even for giving you an infection, which means he didnt even think enough of you to stay safe when he had sex with these girls! He doesn't feel guilty and now you are gone he is probably doing it all the more, perhaps he wanted to get caught to get out of this relationship? seriously, money asides, you dont need him. move on.
A
male
reader, Smiffy  +, writes (4 April 2008):
 Hi...sorry to hear about your situation.....you answered the question yourself "or do I tough it out and move on" MOVE ON....he has no respect for you or your kids...I understand it is very difficult for you but leave now while you still can...money is a lot BUT not everything and I agree with Collaroy....take him to the cleaners...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2008): Ditch the scumbag before he gives you HIV and take him to court for all he's worth. If you don't do it for yourself, do it for your children. What lessons will they learn from their father if you stay? What will it do to them to see their mother always so unhappy if you stay? Make a new, happier life for them - and for yourself - starting now. Leaving him will be hard, but it WILL get better; staying with him will only get harder and harder as you watch your life pass you by as your husband's emotional punching bag.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (4 April 2008):
 Hi there,
It may be easier financially to stay with him, but at what cost to your self esteem.
You claim that you believe he will change his behaviour. I don't think you really believe that, the reason being you know he has know reason to change his behaviour. He never apologized to you about it which tells us a lot about his self esteem. He has it in bundles and feels he can go through life doing whatever he feels like without consequences. Why do you think there are so many brothels around, because they are fill of businessmen who get their kicks sleeping around while the good wife waits at home.
So you have to accept that if you go back to him, the visits to prostitutes will not stop and you will risk further infection in the future. I honestly don't know why you are considering going back to this man.
As for finances , he has fathered two of your children so take him to court for child maintenance. As you live in Australia you are entitled to get 27% of his net income in child support (for two children - its 15% for one child). So if he is rich you should not have any problems supporting yourself.
So the real issue therefore is not money, its whether you can regain your self esteem and view yourself as a worthwile individual who deserves better than being attached to a man who sleeps with prostitutes.
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A
female
reader, Cindy303  +, writes (4 April 2008):
 I understand the financial struggle that you are in. I raise my daughter alone and always have. Its not easy in this day and age. I cant imagine what its like with several children. Your husband is a liar and a cheater. You caught an infection from him. He sleeps with other woman, he lies about little things and big things. Is this love? Is this marriage? Is this what you deserve? You need to start the divorce and you can get child support and more from him. Just because he has money does not mean you should lower yourself to take him back. Look what he has done to your life.
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