A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 16 years old.My two other male subjects in question are "Cinta" (20) and "Sayang" (21).They both are best friends, are extremely close, live together and have known each other a pretty long time.I only met the pair around three and a half months ago but it seems like ages for all of us and I've sort of been a new addition to their wide social group who I get along with.I was very interested in Cinta and so was he in me, Sayang worked hard at trying to set us up together as we were both extremely inexperienced (he hasn't had a girlfriend in three years) in the whole dating game but as this was happening I slowly noticed Sayang developing an attraction that extended beyond my initial thinking. It culminated in an extremely awkward movie screening where i was holding both their hands and Sayang kissed me, I had never been kissed before so I didn't know what to do and I guess I kissed him back. Cinta walked out of the cinema and came back five minutes later, we then proceeded to pretend nothing ever happened.I was now put in an awkward love triangle position, I definitely liked Cinta (and told him this) but I didn't know how to break it to Sayang and to cut a long story short we all left empty-handed.I continued to be friends with them whilst still having secret affections for Cinta and we continued a flirtatious friendship till he decided he wanted to get over me and completely ignored me abruptly for one or two weeks on purpose. I was incredibly saddened by everything and I almost turned to Sayang for comfort knowing full well I didn't want a relationship with him (he knew this too). Somehow Sayang and I embarked on a casual relationship of a sexual nature (I'm still a 'technical virgin', btw) and it still continues to an extent with an occasional booty call every fortnight or week or so. Eventually we've gone from F.W.B to A.W.B (Acquaintances with Benefits aha) and people don't know that we still actually contact each other at all.Cinta started talking to me again, I confessed that I still wasn't over him and he told me he really liked me before (like bordering on love he said) but he's moved on. I adore him so much that I'm happy with just being friends. Now Cinta and I are really good friends again and talk all the time and he has met my mother (Big Step) and we all get along great. We flirt ALL the time (I know for a fact he's still attracted to me) and are super close. I still haven't been able to get over him and I compensate by my secret liasions with Sayang...Now Cinta finishes his last exam on the 19th, leaves for his home country (see if you can guess it from the names hehe) for a month on the 21st and out of all the people he wants to spend the 20th with he and I will be hanging out hehe. I've built up Cinta's trust up so much again and Sayang and I have both agreed that our relationship will quit the minute one of us becomes attached. I'm going on holiday as well for a month and a bit on the 5th December so the 20th is the last we will see each other for awhile but we've already started planning crazy stuff to do next year. I definitely have amazingly strong feelings for Cinta still! I'd marry him right now! I'd do anything for him!Now after that long spiel...Do I give him any hints I'm crazy about him still on the 20th?Do I wait till we both come back from our holiday or until time passes?Should I just give up, the damage is irreversible?Honestly I'm happy to be friends with him, he's just that amazing to be around with but my heart can't help but want more...I can't stand the thought of another rejection from him and I'm afraid I might turn to Sayang for more than messing around in that case.Thanks for reading...I know it's long and complicated.
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best friend, booty call, flirt, on holiday Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2007): This is the OP,
thanks for your answer...
it brought tears to my eyes reading it, you've been really helpful.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2007): If I can give you any advise at all, if you really like someone you should tell them.
I learnt many years ago that its so easy to see someone one day and the next they are gone. I was deeply in love with someone, but just didnt have the guts to tell them. One day he was there, the next day I was told he was dead. I never forgave myself for not having the guts to tell him how I felt and probably never will forgive myself.
If you love him, tell him. The worst that can happen is its not resiprocated, but at least if they are gone tomorrow you wont spend years wishing you just told them when you had the chance.
I miss him every day and will never forget his face!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2007): If I can give you any advise at all, if you really like someone you should tell them.
I learnt many years ago that its so easy to see someone one day and the next they are gone. I was deeply in love with someone, but just didnt have the guts to tell them. One day he was there, the next day I was told he was dead. I never forgave myself for not having the guts to tell him how I felt and probably never will forgive myself.
If you love him, tell him. The worst that can happen is its not resiprocated, but at least if they are gone tomorrow you wont spend years wishing you just told them when you had the chance.
I miss him every day and will never forget his face!
...............................
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