A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So it's been 1 month since me and my girlfriend broke up, we went out for 3 years, but one of the main reason we broke up was because of all the stupid fights which tore us apart. Near the end of the relationship she lied to me about going to a party and she said she didn't love me anymore, I was hurt. A week later after the break up she called me and said she missed me and If she's making a right choice, we talked for a while and said lets go with the flow but we have the will to try to be together (confusing). so we were in the awkward friend stage for 2 weeks and then I couldn't take it anymore, I called her and poured out my feelings she then asked to go on a date. The day of the date came and she cancelled it, she said she was scared if we had a good time, we then will go out again, but were still gonna fight and then eventually break up, I was really hurt about this and she had the nerve to say I pressured her to go out with me, I haven't done that at all. During that week I saw pictures of her hanging out with her friends and such, all the pain sunk in and I told myself this is the last straw, I'm moving on, I'm not going to deal with this anymore. Then on Sunday she messaged me and said she wants to talk and I was like no, I unfriend her from facebook so she was quite mad, she pushed and pushed to call me till I finally gave in. She thought that we both agreed not to see each other this weekend and she said she didn't know I didn't agree.We talked and talked, we had a good time and somewhere around our conversation, I gave her one more chance (don't think I gave her a second chance that easily), The day of our date came and again she cancelled, and the reason was the same reason as the first one at this point I was like "fuck this". now she's begging that she'll try, she wants to make me feel better, wash the pain away, she wants to do all this things, she says she really wants to be with me but is worried I'll end up in a terrible break-up.Has anyone ever had this problem, i need example and crucial advice, because deep down I still care about this girl deeply and I'll stop fighting over stupid things, but my heart feels so damaged and broken. What do I do, do I give her second chance and give her the benefit of the doubt because she is so confused or do I just move on?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do have some advice midnight, bear with me with the story in the beginning. Yesterday my ex said she was going to her sister's play and didn't know what she was going to do afterwards, because I was asking when she was going to call me. I gave her an ultimatum while we were texting and told her no matter what, call me at 11:30 or we're done. I know I've tried a lot as you read above, so I had a right to finally put my foot down and stop being pushed around. During that evening and night, I felt really confused and depressed and met up with my friend and he told me I should smoke some marijuana, I was like "what the heck I'm single and confused, I do need to relax".I don't know why this happened, but I had the worst experience yet with marijuana, I got shaky, I was cold, everything was distorted including sound, I had some immense paranoia and anxiety. But during the "high" I went through I discovered many things about myself, I had a lot demons kept inside my heart, I have so much sadness and regret towards the past and resentment towards my relationship with my ex. My friend told me "If she really cared she'll be by your side right now, you wouldn't be suffering like you are now, you tried so hard and gave her so many ultimatums and still she's confused, just move on". The whole night, all I was thinking about was that phone call, 11:30 came around no phone call, 12:30 no phone call, I fell asleep and woke up at 4 am no phone call.I finally woke up now and it's 11 am and still no phone call. She'll probably call me later around 3pm and give me a really good excuse, but honestly there is no excuse for someone to not call at a certain time when they have a cell, house phone, and the internet. I finally "woke up" and realized how stupid I was to drag this on. I know deep down I truly am still in love with this girl and I never doubt it, I would always come back, make things better, but the results were always more heartbreak and pain. I can't deal with this excuses (lies) anymore. As how much it hurts knowing that I'm losing the one I truly love, she doesn't, she might like me or believe she loves me, but I know she doesn't like I do.Now here's my advice to you. give him an ultimatum, tell him to call you at a certain time, someone who truly loves you will do anything to fix things with the one they love because they admire you and want you to be happy, they want to spend the rest of there lives with you, no matter what. There are two kinds of love in the world, conditional and unconditional love. Conditional love is when you love someone and you know why you love them, it could be their smile or the way they do something, etc. Unconditional love is the essence of true love it's when you love someone and still till now you can't pinpoint "why" you love them, you just feel this natural attraction towards, it has no words. I know you want that and maybe one day you'll find the Mr. Right.Really think about it and I recommend you make an ultimatum with him, always remember there is always someone out there better that'll make you feel so special, that you never want to leave or doubt.I hope I helped.
A
female
reader, A Razorblades Midnight +, writes (6 February 2011):
i know wht you mean im in the same predictament with my man only we have a son that is almost 8 mnths though we fight so much no one is willing to take the blame and somehow i get all the blame if u have advice for me plz plz tell me
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