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Do I forget about my fantasy of my wife having sex with another man?

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Question - (7 May 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 8 May 2010)
A male India age 41-50, anonymous writes:

i have been married 3years, and from past 2years i m having a strange fantasy of watching my wife having sex with other man. my wife has sometimes flirted with other man in-front of me to support this idea.... but this growing with time. i love her, but still i m always having this ... what shall i do about it? do i seriously need to stop it ? am i going mad ? what are solutions for it?

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A female reader, EbonyBlossom United Kingdom +, writes (8 May 2010):

EbonyBlossom agony auntFantasies like this, when made a reality, can often go horribly wrong. E.g. she could think she's in love with someone else, you could become jealous overnight, she could catch something/get pregnant off the other person, the other person may develop and attachment to her. For the sake of your relationship, don't go there. Get a copy of the Karma Sutra if you want to spice up your sex life =]

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A female reader, BunnyTee United States +, writes (7 May 2010):

BunnyTee agony auntAhh, the Indecent Proposal type thing. The fact that you're questioning your own sanity says you're probably still as sane as the rest of us. Do you need help? Maybe. Is this consuming your life, impacting it on a daily basis? Are you not going to work so you can devote more time to this fantasy? If not, then I'd say you'll do fine on your own. What to do about it? Have you spoken honestly and openly about this with your wife? Find out how she feels about this.I know there are more men with this fetish than there are those who will admit to it. Pursuing this sort of adventure require implicit honesty, and zero trust issues, past, present, or future. If you BOTH agree and want to experience such a thing, my suggestion to you is to make absolutely certain that you're both in strict agreement about it. Talk about it. Be choosy. Be safe. And NO regrets if you proceed. I tried this in my 1st marriage and it was certainly more fun to talk about than actually do. In retrospect, I believe it should remain a fantasy, not a reality.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2010):

seriously you should stop thinking about such stupid things and pray to god that your "fantasy" doesnt become fulfilled!!

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A female reader, purple_butterfly Canada +, writes (7 May 2010):

I think you should speak with your wife. A lot of couples in India and a lot of other countries are okay with such things. try to communicate with her and see what she feels about it. If she is not comfortable with it and if you are going to hurt her feelings, then stop it.

Communication is the key

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