A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a question, and maybe you can give me a bit of insight. I am a 21 year old straight male, and I am going to step out on a limb here and say that I am very attractive. The only reason I say that is because I don't think I am, but many ladies and many men have told me. Often when a woman talks to me, I shy away. None the less, I have dated very, VERY attractive women in my life. I am a manly man, yet I am a girly man as well, if that makes sense. I stay physically fit, which I normally have an 8 pack, and large arms. When I go in to public with my grandfather, or my mother, they always are giving me a hard time. In fact, everyone gives me a hard time, because I am so oblivious to women. For example: Yesterday at the gas station, we went inside to pay. While in there, there was this very attractive lady, whom seemed to make it a priority to make eye contact with me. I thought I was imagining that. When I stepped outside, to pump gas, here she came along and pumped gas on the pump in front of me, but on the other side. She stared me completely down. Of course, I just jumped in the car, smiled and left. My grandfather on the other hand noticed everything, and aggravated me completely about it!I am a fairly confident man, and I guess it goes back to being the fattest kid in school. I guess another thing is that I believe nothing stays in life. My mother and father didn't want me, so my grandparents raised me, my birth mama openly admitted in court that she wanted nothing to do with me, and the only people who have been there in my entire life were my two grandparents. Everyone else has came and left. I do have a fear of committing, because I have been hurt so bad. In two relationships, I have treated the girl nicer than they'll ever have it. (They used to call me the rich kid in school) In those two relationships, they both cheated on me. Undoubtedly they still confess their love for me, its just tainted now.What I am getting around to asking is this. Why do I have such a Fear when it comes to women. Where do I start to turn it around? I'm pretty sociable, and I am one of those people that everyone likes, so what gives?
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female
reader, Miss.Cupid +, writes (28 November 2013):
 i am a woman. so i will give you a little insight. i understand that you find yourself attractive. that's great because if you don't love yourself, who will?now your last relationships play a huge part of your fear of women. I don't believe youre afraid of women, i just think youre afraid of the approach. You see a girl, you know their expecting you to say something first, maybe even a date, get serious and bam get hurt again. that's how your mind is working. But it definitely doesn't have to be like that. an example with the gas station, if she was to say something, you can just reply nicely in return and just get in your car and drive off, without making a scene but also making it clear you're nice, but don't want anything. Maybe the best way to stop the fear is to date around, doesn't have to get serious, get to know someone maybe even build a friendship with a woman. But don't fear woman, because to be honest woman are the one that fear the man, with the hurt,cheating,lieing . but it doesn't stop us from dating, or living life. Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI appreciate all of the responses.
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