A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 22 and I have been with my bf for over 4 years, after about a year of being together he said that I had to choose him or my friends, and that if I forgot my friends he would forgot one of his mates who is always nasty to me. 3 years later he still talks to his mate but I haven’t spoke to mine since and it hates it when I mention about getting back intouch with them. Then one weekend about 6 months ago, he asked me to stay over his, and then his work mates arranged to go out for the night, I said I didn’t want him to go, but he told me to f off and he went while I stayed at his house alone all night waiting for a phone call to pick him up which emend up being 12.30am. He then finished with me 2 days later, but I begged for him back, and I later found out, that he was flirting all night with a girl he works with, and soon as he dumpt me was telling her how he wanted to have sex with her. I got back with him as I love him soo much and just cant be with out him. Then about 3 days ago, he told me over msn, that im ugly and I never make an effort and that the girl he flirted with when he was out that night is sexier than me, and that maybe he does have feelings for her (as he sed he didn’t at the time). He also masturbates over other girls I know. Do you think this is acceptable? He says that I couldn’t do any better than him and that at least he hasn’t cheated on me. Do I deserve to be treated like this?
View related questions:
cheated on me, flirt, msn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2009): Why in the hell do you love an asshole with a man surrounding it soooo much who is soooo disrespectful towards you? He must have your self esteem in the toilet after 4 years of his controlling abuse.
This guy is full of himself and he only sees you as "supply" for his own attention and ego gratification....he doesn't give a witt about you. Nor does he care about the new girl....he sees her mostly as a sex object, and you do the laundry and wash his dirty shorts for him, what a deal, what a prince.
Get ahold of yourself and get out now....the only thing worse would be to spend 4 years and one more day with him.
Get yourelf some counseling. You have some work to do on yourself, especially before you go trotting off into another bad relationship.
There is something wrong with how you choose men, with how you view love, with how you view yourself in order for you to feel that you love such a callous man...get the help, it will be the best thing you ever did for yourself.
Get rid of the loser, do it today.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2009): In short... NO!
You can do SO much better than him, and unless he's really dumb, knows this too. He has some kind of hold over you, and because you're blinded by the love you have for him, are letting him do this to you.
Any guy that makes you pick between him and your friends, goes back on his word AND tells you that he finds another girl sexier than you isn't worth the time of day.
There is a long list of things I could call him from what you've said here, but as q said, don't put up with this crap! He doesn't respect you or care about your feelings.
Deep down you know you don't deserve this and know you can do better, so please, for the sake of your own happiness, leave him and find someone who will treat you right.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2009): No, you don't. You absolutely deserve way better than this.This guy is showing all the classic signs of a potential abuser. He isolates you from your friends. He destroys your self-esteem by insulting you. Trust me, you can do MUCH better than him. Do not try to "fix" him, it never works. That is a counsellor's job, not a girlfriend's. And, even then, most guys like this will never change. This may not be what you want to hear but it's true.It's a shame the nicest people who deserve good relationships the most, like you, tend to be the people who often unwittingly get into bad ones. Dump him, get out, and reestablish contact with your friends. Begin to build a new life and don't ever look back. You're worth it. And Google "signs controlling relationship" because, sadly, there's more than one guy like that out there, and a lot of the times you can't spot this till it's all too late.
...............................
|
