A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is not a question about a boyfriend. Or an ex, or a potential. This is a question regarding my mother.She met my dad at 17 years old and has been married to him even now. They don't get along very well, they never have. And the only reason she is still with him is because my younger brother isn't old enough to emotionally handle the divorce. And my mom has always been mean, and due to her life experiences she should be, she should be absolutely miserable. However she is always looking at herself as the victim. And when i was a teenager, I hated her for it. She would scream at me and tells me she hates me, she tells me that i should have been put in the detention center. She threw tables at me and puts words in my mouth that i have never said. And that's why i decided that when I turned 18 I would go to college in one of the farthest places I could find. Now when I went to college in Florida she called me all the time saying how much she missed me doing chores and being another girl in the house. The only thing we will never agree on is this one boy I've fallen in love with, and maybe it will last maybe it wont. But she gets mad just from me hanging out with the kid. I am 19! I don't know how to get her to stop getting mad at me every time I don't do what she wants. And up until now I have used the excuse that when you really love someone, you put up with their faults and shortcomings, because not only do you have them of your own, but people only hurt other people because their are in pain themselves. Now I've decided to go to college back home because I proved that I can get away and do what I want. However now that I am home to stay she gets mad at everything I do. And any other person would have walked away. Especially with the verbal, and physical abuse, the constant and the constant anger that she shows. However I need to know if moving out is really the best option. Because you only get one family, and I don't want to not see them because my mom is being mad about me moving out. But I won't let her make my life miserable. So do i leave and make her understand that you can't treat people this way? Or do oI just continue to put up with it.
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female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo  +, writes (17 June 2012):
 you leave
If yoy want to be treated like an adult you must act like one andf leave, take care of yourself and show people you are not a child.
A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (17 June 2012):
 You need to leave. Even though you're hurting her by being away, she's made your childhood miserable and she doesn't even seem sorry that she did. She will get the lesson about how to treat someone by you leaving. And don't give in to her when she tells you to come back permanently. Have phone calls and visit once in a while, but don't go back home. You'll just be giving in to her and she won't understand how her behavior has affected you before and in the future. If she wants to make amends, then she'll apologize to you and try to work things out. But if she doesn't, then she doesn't. Don't try to get an apology unless she reaches out to you. You're an adult with the right to have a life and decide who will be in it. If someone's bringing you negativity constantly, you're not obligated to keep them in your life.
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