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Do I continue to like my crush or let it die out? He has a girlfriend!

Tagged as: Crushes, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 August 2014) 2 Answers - (Newest, 25 August 2014)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

hi everyone who wont judge me, im bestfriends with this guy and i've secretly liked him since the day we met and then i told him i like him and he likes me but the thing is he has a girlfriend and it's just been awkward since so what do i do stay friends and let my heart die out of this crush or wait to see if we'll date?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (25 August 2014):

Honeypie agony auntLike WiseOwlE said, you should NOT put your life on hold for a guy. Specially a guy who might not even date you if he was single.

If a GUY has a GF, you do NOT "confess" your feelings to them. That is not right. And it's DISRESPECTFUL to the friends AND his GF, even if she will never know, your FRIEND will.

It IS OK to have a crush on a person, but YOU having a crush or feelings for them, DOESN'T mean they OWE you anything or HAVE to return your feelings. You can have a mega crush and NOT act on it.

I also agree with WiseOwlE when he says you ought to apologize and put him back in the "friend-zone" - if you can't do that, then you need to stay away.

And in the future remember that if a guy is dating someone else... HE SHOULD be off limits. You don't want to be some guy's sloppy seconds. If he has a GF/BF then HE isn't worth chasing. YOU would be the one getting hurt in those circumstances. And there are PLENTY of other guys out there, some who are single, and good guys.

TRY and use some common sense about dating and boys. THINK first, then act, talk. Try and put yourself in other's shoes for a minute. Find your own moral compass of what is right and wrong. Treat others like YOU would like to be treated.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2014):

You shouldn't put yourself on hold for anyone. Waiting to see if you'll date, is like hoping his relationship with his girlfriend fails. Do you really want him so bad you would want something bad to happen to get him?

You really shouldn't tell a boy with a girlfriend that you like him. That isn't showing respect for his relationship, and his girlfriend. That's something I don't think you would want another girl to do to you. Right?

Telling him you like him was almost asking him to give up his girlfriend. That's why things got awkward. Now he thinks he has lost you as his best friend, if he doesn't do it.

You never told him how you felt before he got a girlfriend; so why did you suddenly become brave enough after he got one?

You have to step-back and apologize to your friend; and put your feelings back into the friend-zone. Take a little time away from him to get your feelings back in the right place. Meanwhile,try and see other boys. That is the kind and mature thing to do. This will give your crush a chance to settle-down, and the awkwardness to fade away.

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