A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok im really pissed of at the moment.heres the deal: a week ago a friend(#1) and i were in my friend #2's house and when it came the time to leave #1 asked me that wen i phoned home cud i ask my mum to leave her the extra few miles to her house.i asked and my mum said yes bt a few mins later my mum phoned back to tel me the roads wer 2 icy for her to get out. so friend #2 ended up phonin her dad 2 come get her.i asked the same question of her-cud ur dad take me home(few miles away) and she turned round and said 'oh i dnt think hes goin that way' and just left me ther! i was jst in shock really cuz it was such a bitchy thing 2 do.then we wer supposed to go out 2nite.#1 asked me if i cud give us al a loft dwn the twn as her mum and dad r away.i said yes. about half an hour before we wer 2 leave she txts and says that she and #2 r gettin a taxi dwn instead cuz they wudnt b ready in time. i wasnt going to be dwn ther by myself 4 hours and wait for them and i said as much. #1 said 'wel fine then dnt go' she didnt even offer for me to get the taxi wit them.so ther i was sittin ready to go-make up, hair done, dressed to the nines.i phned #2 bt she was in the shower and she was meant 2 ring bk bt didnt.i rang ther a few mins ago and it turns out they went on without me without even really tellin me anything.how shud i go about this?the sad thing is that they are the only friends of mine that i can go on nites out wit.i need to make new friends, bt hw.i dnt go 2 skl anymore.i wrk bt everyone is way older than me.sori this was so long.suggestions, opinions, help? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2009): I would not waste the energy with a bitch slap as they are not your friends...but yeah a bitch slap would be good for them. They are moving on you should do the same. Don't call them for a week or so, see if they call you. You said you know you need to make new friends, so you are aware of that.
Ways to make friends, join a gym, go to shows and see bands, go to any activity that you have an interest in where there is a regular meeting or activity like rock climbing. You will be able to make friends that way.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2009): I don't think physical violence is ever the answer. Possibly there is just a miscommunication problem or you are coming accross as entitled and angry that your friends don't go by your rules and schedules and they are getting fed up with it.....
I am not suggesting that you are in the wrong here as I don't really understand all the nuances of what was said and how, but they do sound a bit self-centered and rude.
The only thing you can do with friend's like this is try to sit down with them non-defensively and without an accusatory tone and tell them how you feel about having been left out and slighted when asking a favor or for a ride, tell them that you value their friendship and would like to be included but don't really understand the problem....see what they have to say and listen. If you don't like what you heare then think about finding some other friends to hang out with.
Sometimes the best way to find a friend is to be one to someone else. Age is not always the thing that binds friends together.....but look around in your own backyard, or go to church or get involved in your community. Life does not revolve around going out to clubs at night, it revolves around true friendship and you deserve to have some friends who are reciprocal and care about you as a person.
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