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Do I believe what this married man is telling me?

Tagged as: Cheating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 April 2012) 12 Answers - (Newest, 18 April 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

i met this married man at a night club 3 weeks ago he called me first thing the next morning and has texd and phoned every day until last week when we met up ,i texd him yesterday and asked him if we re finished he said no im just busy at work ,?? never texd me again since, he told me he just stays with the wife cause she dos nt keep well do i believe that as well ,im so confused now tell me what to do, please,

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A female reader, Ciar Canada +, writes (18 April 2012):

Ciar agony auntYou're not confused because there is nothing to be confused about. You know exactly what you should do, but you're reluctant to do it because you find the man appealing.

He's married. Whether it's a good marriage or a bad one is besides the point. He has unfinished business elsewhere and someone else has a claim on him.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (18 April 2012):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntOP: We (men) are ALL "just waiting to get our divorce"... or "we haven't been intimate with our wife for years...", or, "she is threatening to injure herself if we walk out"... so we stay with her.....

The fact is that he is STILL married to the lady.. he is STILL not available to you... and he is STILL a dog for putting you on the hook such as he has done.

Is there any reason to believe that he (or you) will not be alive in 6 months? IF not, then wait that long... and, if he has become available, and you would like to meet up with him, then do it then.....

Until then, look for decent, honorable, SINGLE/available guys to hang around with....

Good luck...

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (18 April 2012):

Honeypie agony auntHe's married.. who cares what comes out of his mouth.

Of course his wife is horrible and blackmails him into staying.. He's a total martyr!

Honestly, you do NOT need/want this kinda drama. Stay clear of married men.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (18 April 2012):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntThere are three important rules that you should learn and memorize, as they apply to incidents such as this. Are you ready? Here they are:

1. Don't believe a single thing that a married guy tells you....

2. Don't believe a single thing that a married guy tells you...., and,

3. Don't believe a single thing that a married guy tells you....

Once those rules sink in, I'm sure you'll know just what to do.....

Good luck.....

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

the thing is he told me that he left the wife last year ,and cause she dos nt keep well she told him if he did nt go back to her she ll commit suicide so he went back but they still dont get on he said he just stayed with her cause he had nt met anyone else,

im so confused ,

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A male reader, Tom Obler  United Kingdom +, writes (18 April 2012):

Tom Obler  agony auntHi,

It's an old line like "my wife doesn't understand me." or "the marriage is finished." Don't go down this road.You will get drawn in like a drug and be left a mess. Forget the man, the texts, the phone. Move on now.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thank you ,

i was so happy when i was with him ,

mabe ive got the message now i ll deleat his number from myphone

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (18 April 2012):

YouWish agony auntLet me remove all confusion:

HE IS MARRIED. Doesn't matter why. Doesn't matter whether he's happy, his wife's ill, he's not getting sex, she nags him, or any of the other worthless things a married man will spout out of his mouth to convince a woman to be his accomplice in betraying and devastating his wife.

Think of it this way -- if he was only staying with his wife because she's not well, will finding out that he's cheating on her be better or worse for her health?

Stay away from married men. Their words to you are useless. Their pursuit of you is selfish. You are being used.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2012):

You've just started fooling around with a married man, you deserve the pain his lies will cause you. That's all there is to it. If you don't want to get used and hurt, stay away from married men. If their own wife can't trust them neither can you.

Frankly OP at your age, you know what you're getting into and you're just going to have to accept the consequences.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2012):

just to remind you....HE IS MARRIED.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada +, writes (18 April 2012):

Ciar agony auntThat line is so old it's cliche. Believe nothing he tells you. Cut contact and move on.

He's a gigolo. Consider yourself warned.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2012):

He's married! You should be finished with him if for no other reason than he's not available. As a formerly married man, I know what this man needs to do, and that is either focus on his marriage or begin the "moving on" process by filing for divorce.

OP, I suggest you limit your interest to single, available men. Married men are nothing but trouble, and aren't genuinely interested in you.

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