A
female
age
30-35,
*shleeeeee89
writes:okay , so im a young adult , and although this is a silly question its bugging me , .... just the other day me and my boyfriend had sex (like usual) we've been dating for about 3 months now, and although its early on im trying my best to give him my FULL trust, (sorry in advance for the details) but its important, ... we'd just got in from a night out, i wasnt as drunk as i usually am, nor was he but we were slightly tipsy? we were playing around, he was concentrating on me and i closed my eyes, shortly after he entered me, .... ( im not sure if he was wearing anything) , again i had my eyes closed, i went with it though because i trust him, and even if he didnt have anything on he'd stop himself, and put a condom on (we are responsible despite what it seems), so hes thrusting away and ( well you know how it goes) and then he says to me "im going to cum" ... this is unusual for him to say, he normally just moans and groans, never informs me .. ( i think he hesitated but i cant be sure?, also it wasnt in a sexy way, like he was turning me on or something , his tone was a little different, .... i mumbled unde my breath "don't cum" ... ( as to my knowledge he wasnt wearing a condom) i'll also add here that im not on birth control or the pill? , ... but he kept going ... and i presume he did cum- it wasnt a loud moan like usual, but there was a facial expression, a slight one, .. which again is a little strange of him, (ive only been with him 3months) prior to that ive knew him a while though, i cant say i know everything about his mannerisms but it seemed odd) he rolled over, and lay beside me, as we lay there it wasnt the usual embrassing, but more a slight cuddle, and then he wanted to sleep, he left earlyish in the morning (he had work) ... and only after he'd gone i decided to ask him about what happened, i asked him through text : did he cum ? and where, he said he did cum, and it was in a condom he pulled out of my bag... (this is possible i have several in my bag ...many bags). i checked in my bag and none seem to have gone (although i cant be exactly sure, i didnt count them) but they're all still in there packs of two's .... before i could ask him he text 'and it's down the toilet' . he DIDNT go to the toilet after the sex, only in the morning... i asked him about that he said he put it down his side of the bed after the sex, and took it to the toilet in the morning (a little gross) .... put it on single handedly while playing with me (i had my eyes closed i wouldnt know if thats what he did) but thats what he said, i looked everywhere for the wrapper , but couldnt find one so it must mean he had the wrapper too? we also used lube- i didnt feel any friction to getting it in ...but that could be because of the (alleged) condom or the lube? i do trust him , but i cant help but think maybe his own exstacy of satisfaction made him continue ... maybe he could'nt stop himself , why tell me he was going to cum?(and as i think in a hesitant way) , .. it means he must of used his teeth to open the wrapper , use one hand to get it out of the packet, and one hand to put it on... some skill needed there? things just dont add up , and as much as i want to trust him i cant help but have these gut doubts :( Do i trust what he says? he has NO reason to lie to me ... i feel bad not trusting him , do you think im being over paranoid..?sorry if this question is a little confusing , please reply if you understand though ...
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condom, drunk, text, the pill Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2011): Hi there. Mine was the first post. I had an accident with my boyfriend at the end of last year when the condom came off during sex. He came inside me and afterwards I couldn't stop thinking whether it really was an accident. Bottom line, I took the morning after pill because I wasn't sure and I took it because I didn't want to be pregnant. Thankfully I didn't fall pregnant.
We live and learn. I hope your pregnancy goes well, sounds like you have a loving family behind you.
Good luck and all the best for the future for you and your baby xx
A
female
reader, ashleeeeee89 +, writes (2 May 2011):
ashleeeeee89 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey thankyou for your replies.
i did consider them , but in the end i acted upon my own stupidity , i chose to belive him , im his gf ( what type of girlfriend would i be if i didnt) , also relationship should be about trust.
i ignored my gut feeling , i ignored my initial instinct, and i chose his lies.
yous were right. yous would have to be , because about a month ago i took a pregnancy test. you can imagine the hurt when that cross appeared. although this pregnancy isnt planned im carrying on with it , i have loving family who gives me support and will help me . im going to be a good mum regaurdless wether he wants to be the dad .
moral is :Trust is never trustworthy, and that im a silly woman to belive in trust.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2011): Pretty simple really, he wasn't wearing one. You know that too. His lies are all crap, even if he did do all those things then why hide the fact he was putting on a condom, why do it so stealthily as to make sure you didn't know?He's lying OP he didn't wear a condom. You weren't that drunk that you wouldn't have noticed him putting it on and he would have taken it off straight away and thrown it away. He's lying through his teeth.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2011): The whole tone of your post is one of uncertainty. You don't know and neither does he. But from what you say, it doesn't sound like a condom was used. The point is you need to take action now.If you are worried about an unplanned pregnancy, get to the pharmacy and get the morning after pill. Also you may want to make an appointment to see your GP to discuss a more reliable form of contraception.
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