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writes: I am having trouble working up the courage to ask a friend of mine out.I have known this girl for slightly over a year. I met her at my 19th birthday at my house when she came with a friend of mine that she was seeing at the time. However they have been finished for a long time. Recently over the last few months I have been speaking to her more and more on the internet and we have become really good friends. I have even been to visit her a few times on the weekend and we have always gotten on really well. Recently I have started to become more and more attracted to her. She is 2 years my younger but this is not a problem. I am worried about ruining the friendship that we have and offending her by asking her out. I am not even sure if she is attracted to me.The few times I have been to see her, we have always gotten on really well, we have been to lunch at a local subway and for a meal at Pizza Hut. Also the last time I saw her was after she had just finished at the gym. We caught the bus to her house and she was kind enough to make me lunch. However I am still not sure that she is attracted to me. She is a really nice person, always polite and not like most other girls I meet. We have a lot in common, especially our taste in music.The reasons that I am struggling to work up the courage is because I am afraid of rejection for a start, worried about ruining a friendship, and because I am not sure how she would react to my line of work, she knows that I am a British infantry soldier, a fact that she likes to boast about when introducing me to her friends, but I do not know if she would be willing to cope with the dangers of my job and the long stints in far away countries. I.e. I deploy to Iraq for 6 months at the end of October.Any advice that you could give on this matter would be greatly appreciated.
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reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (27 June 2006):
 If its hard for you to second-guess her feelings then its impossible for us too. Fear is just that, fear, it doesnt tell you what her answer would be but it is also based in rational deduction and experience. I think you have to try and clear your head and weigh the pros and cons and then make your moves from there. Hope that helps. Good luck.
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