A
female
age
41-50,
*ilda
writes:help i posted a question a while back about my new man not being able to have kids and me wanting another baby, well after speaking about it again he has never had any tests done to prove this he was with his ex for 4 years and for 3 of them they were trying for a baby then when they split up she went off and met someone else and she fell pregnant. so thats why he thinks he cant have kids, he would love his own child so what do i do, do i come off the pill and let fate take its course or ask him to get tests done so we know whats what, i would love another child and the thought of not having one is killing me. maybe if i knew for sure one way or the other i could deal with my feelings. a baby would make my life complete.
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his ex, split up, the pill, trying for a baby Reply to this Question
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (15 June 2007):
 If you want a baby then you need to come off the pill, expect your body to take a while to adjust and then try for a year. In the UK, a year of trying is considered normal. If things don't go according to plan after that, see your GP and get infertility investigations (both of you). I am currently 4 months pregnant and I cannot count the number of doctors who told me I would never get pregnant or have a baby because of my medical conditions. I was contemplating infertility treatment but I let nature take its course instead...it took 3 years but if you don't try, you don't get...good luck!
A
female
reader, Beckto  +, writes (14 June 2007):
 I suggest that the two of you sit down and decide together if he should get some testing done. Tell him how much you want a baby, but you're not sure how to address the issue. Ask him if he'd be willing to undergo some tests to determine if he has viable sperm, or even if he'd be willing to go to a doctor to just ask what his options are. Exploring the possibilities does not mean that either of you are committing to a child. It simply means you're trying to get more information so the two of you can make an informed choice.
Take it one step at a time, not 100 steps at a time! :)
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (14 June 2007):
 You could come off the pill but how long are you prepared to wait not actually knowing if you will get pregnant or not, as you have said you both want children then the best option would be to go and discuss it with your gp together and get some tests done so then you will know for definate.
Take care.xx.
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A
female
reader, spirited +, writes (14 June 2007):
You should ask him to get tested. There might be many reasons why you can't get pregnant, and anything concerning his health should be addressed. Once you know what the problem is, you can work towards a solution. And what better motivation than bringing a beautiful child into the world.
Go for the test.
I hope it all works out!
God Bless!
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