A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 24 and since I was 14 I've had it rough. I was diagnosed with a medical condition that is incurable (non-contagous) and I decided that I had to accept the condition myself before expecting someone else to accept it as well. Therfore I have never dated and up until New Years never been kissed.I have since accepted my condition. It took time and I was put on bedrest for 3 years starting at the age of 20. It really put me behind when it comes to romantic relationships.A few months back I moved and started making new friends. I made friends with two guys that mean the world to me and for the longest I with held the information about my condition and the extent of my innocence. Around Thanksgiving I reveled it to one of my friends (we'll call him 'B') when I was slightly tipsy. I have a special relationship with him because he reminds me of a friend who passed away. He's a lot like a big brother to me and his wife is a really sweet woman. Anyway, he got me to tell our other friend (we'll call him 'J') the following week, excpet J didn't want the full story. He only learned that I had never dated or been kissed and that there was more to the story. I've tried telling him everything a number of times, but he's not the type to really listen because the emotional area is not his spot. He loves to have fun and if there's bagage you check it at the door. It's something that I adore about him and also annoys the daylights out of me.At the beginning of December J tried to kiss me, but I moved away from him. It was surprising and flattering that he would want to do such a thing (and he was/is the first to ever attempt), but because he was drunk and I was tipsy and he didn't know the full story I wasn't ready to let him kiss me. It really sent me into a talespin because it also made me analyze what exactly the extent of my feelings for him are. I kind of avoided him for a few weeks after his attempt, but on New Years we were at the bar and I told him that if he wanted to try and kiss me at midnight he might not be disappointed, but I didn't promise that he would succeed. He had basically told me that it was ok and that he was fine so I shruged it off and figured I was off the hook which was nice since he still didn't know the full story (and still doesn't!). When the clock struck 12 he was a little ways down the bar talking to a friend so I went down to give him a New Years hug to which he accepted and kissed me on the cheek before whispering Happy New Year in my ear and I did the same. I was pulling back to say something when he surprised me by kissing me. It was soft and sweet, no tongue, lips slightly parted, and his arms locked firmly but protective/sweetly around my waist. I was taken so by surprise that when it ended a few moments later I just blushed and looked away. I made my way back to where I had been with other friends and they awwed over the whole thing and B(he's also J's best friend) smiled and gave me a wink. A few minutes later J came back to our little group and seemed quite pleased with himself for being my first kiss quickly reminded/told everyone that he was my first kiss.I haven't had the chance to sit down and talk with J about what happened because of work and such. I have come to the conclusion that I'm intrigued by him and flattered and crushing on him a little. I wouldn't turn down a date if he asked. But I don't know what exactly the kiss meant.Was it simply the ablity to say he was the first? or Does he have feelings for me that are deeper than friendship? (I kind of get the impression from B that this might be the case or at least B wants it to be the case)or Am I just reading way too much into this considering it was New Years, we both had a few drinks, and I kind of gave him the go ahead and he decided to take it?~ Hopelessly Confussed
View related questions:
best friend, crush, drunk, kissing Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2009): Dear Hopelessly Confused,
I am so happy for you! It's good to not let a medical condition interfere with your life and keep you from doing the things that you want to accomplish. Your story is truly inspiring to all :). Don't stress about the kiss. J sounds like a great guy! He doesn't seem like the type that would play games. He seems to really like you and you should totally go for it. Don't hold back. Sit down and talk with him. He'll tell you what's up and you can take it from there. Best of luck in the future and hold onto B. He seems like a great friend!
|
