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female
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*weetcherry
writes: I'm feeling so hurt and so sad and upset.. that after all 9 months with the guy I believed and loved with all my heart. Everything all the dreams of future is not there now..He is dating around to see if it helps him to get over me he said he wants to go back to the way he was before I met him.He says he doesnt feel anything for them and it's not helping but he somehow knows he will get over me even though that he says he isn't sure what he wants, says that he has feelings for me but don't love me, says he misses me a lot but don't want to be with me.. He says he will hurt a lot and that it hurts now knowing that I'll be with someone else but he'll get over it!I'm so stupid I even spoke to him on the phone said it's me now or never that I don't want to lose what we had that no one will love him like me. He says he isn't 100 per cent sure he wants to be with me and he isnt 100per cent sure he doesnt.. then I called him again and he said I don't want you, I don't love you, I don't need your help, even though he was crying in the last phone call and in the texts before he said he don't wanna lose me forever and that he will always regret it and that I was his everything.What am I supposed to do..? It's been 3 weeks and I still cry each night, I said to him I want to be happy with him, I told him to not push love away that he doesn't have to go through pain he can have me but I can't be friends with him anymore it breaks my heart and I can't see this over guy because it's unfair on him.. because if you decide you want me I will have to drop him for you.. then he said he would do that for me.. drop all girls but yet... why the hell was he so stubborn and saying at the end I don't want you..? I said I hope one day you will realise youre making a mistake! ...Now please someone tell me what is he going through?? and why??Do guys sometimes need to be single for a while to see if anyone else will feel the same.Will he come back to me? I want him so bad but not like this!
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female
reader, Cateyes  +, writes (25 March 2007):
 I really feel for you and I mean that, however, there is no way anyone can tell you whether or not he will indeed come back to you to work this out. I know you want him back, but the best thing to do is leave him alone. If he decides on his own to call you or try it again, then fine, but I would not be calling him or anything...makes you seem desparate. No man wants to be with a desparate woman. I wish I could tell you what he is going through, but from what you wrote, right now, he is not ready to commit to you 100%. If and when he is ready, he will contact you. I know 3 weeks seems like a life time, but you should NOT be waiting around for him. You are strong and need to move forward with your life and if it was meant to be, it will. Best of Luck to you and let me know how it works out for you....take care.
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male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (25 March 2007):
 Sounds like he's got a bad case of "go away closer". You gave no idea how old a man this is, but he sounds very immature.My best guess based on what you've said is that he really wants the security of a sure thing (you), but would really like the adventure of being able to explore new relationships.As far as going back to the way you were before ... that's just not possible. Once you become romantically involved, the old ways are gone forever and can never really come back. You've known one another on too deep a level to turn around.He may wake up in time to realize that leaving you is a mistake. If he does go, and both of you move on, it is rather unlikely that the two of you will come together again in the near future. Maybe some time in the more distant future you will meet again, with a lot of water under the bridge, and some new spark will ignite between you. Or maybe not. But I wouldn't count on getting together with him again any time soon if he leaves.
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