A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I feel as if every guy that i date only wants me for my looks! Thisreally worries me. I do not have a bad personality at all. I am funny easy going kind and lots more! But it just seems that my looks get in the way! Every guy that i like or date puts me off when they start saying oh your so gorgeous.Is the problem with me or the guys. And do you have any suggestions that can help me to find a guy that will like me for whats inside not outside? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, kool aid +, writes (11 August 2008):
i used to feel the same way as you do, and i guess sometimes i still do feel this way, but there are a few ways to avoid getting yourself attached to men that only like you for your looks. Try being friends with the guys you date first---a guy may be initially attracted to you because of your looks, but he will only stay interested if you have a connection, and he likes your personality. When i guy compliments you on your looks, act as though you feel looks are insignificant, and appreciate the compliment, but move on quickly. Try to understand why you feel guys only like you because of the way you look. If it is because they become uninterested after a few dates, or only want to fool around then, you haven't found the right guy. You seem like a really nice girl, and i'm sure that guys don't only like you becasue of your looks. Think of all the attractive women out there with horrible personalities, who aren't attracting guys because their personalities are so horrible! You seem like a smart and unsuperficial person, who is sensitive and insightful, and because you care about having a deeper relationship, i know you'll find someone that cares about who you are. Just consider yourself lucky----you'll have many more options to pick from, the 'nice guy hat' than all the ugly girls out there! best wishes!
A
female
reader, Cherriepie  +, writes (16 July 2008):
 Hunny you are not going to get past the fact that you are good-looking so instaed of denying it use it to your advantage. Of course the first thing a guy will notice about you is your looks..but thats not so bad. you done want to be with a guy who deosnt find you desireable either do you? I can tell you from experience dating bi or gay guys is NO fun...lol. if they are not into you from the start you have nowhere to go.
But you have to give guys some patience and dont give in too easy with them. that is the advantage you have with having good looks. You can make guys do things for you and you can challenge how much thay like you and appreciate you. The only wasy to test how much they appreciate what's inside is to give them time... talk to them and find out much you have in common besides reging hormones. talk to you guy on the phone when hes not looking at you...see how much you can talk about and find in common. Be careful though...i guy will say anything if he can get in your pants... that's why dating and testing a guy is important beyond just talking. action baby, not words!
But you sound like a good person. dont resort to being a bitch and and acting like you are above others just because you are attractive. You will make better friends...boys and girls if you dont make your looks an issue.
dont make your self look less attractive either... be yourself.
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A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (24 June 2008):
 I am sure q1605 is kidding you...
This is going to be your reality for a while. It's no mystery that young men are driven by what they see more than what they can sense. It's societal and it's genetic. But, it's not all a lost cause for the species. Unfortunately, it cured with time. Women mature faster than men. You, being a young lady can easily attest to this. The only way around this for now is to take a more superficial approach to dating within your own age group, or possibly start looking toward older, more mature men (into their early 20's perhaps -- the range is completely up to you). But for now, if you are going to date within your own age group, don't look for "the one" guy that's going to be in love with your brain as well as your body. Take a more casual approach and go with the flow of things... don't expect much more out of them than what you perceive in them. Until you find a man that's thinking with his big head over his little one, this is going to be reality for a while... sure, there is the possibility that you might find that rare exceptional guy out there... he could be waiting for you to find him... the point is that you shouldn't give yourself grief over it or by the horde of unlikely/un-preferred candidates around you now. End the end, you are who you are... and they still have some growing to do...
Best wishes!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008): oh c'mon did you have to q? lol
sweetie. it is gonna be hard to find the guy that just likes you for you and thats because your sexy... is it just that you are beautiful or that you are in sexy clothing and do sexual things to attract the attention? you shouldnt shun men because they say that you are beautiful. always take it as a compliment but keep it at that. i guess the only way for you to go about this is just date the men and if after a few weeks all they want is sex, he's not the one that sees you for you. i never had this problem but my friend did and she made the men wait and wait and wait even just for a kiss and that drives them so crazy that they give up and leave.. your sexy but not a slut and the right guy will come along that sees that in you and cherish you forever cause you are beautiful all over. inside and out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008): i dont understand the problem your having !!!
so many people find it hard for there partner to compliment them also your probably worrying so much about if a guy only likes u 4 the way u luk then the guy is probably seeing the part of ur personality that is worried
Just chill out and take the compliments as a compliment lol
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