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female
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anonymous
writes: If a man really tries to be a gentleman in this stone age like opening car doors for you, let you go first as a lady. Does that mean he is showing good manners or just trying to impress you or hook you??Do good manners really exists these days with men now ??? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (11 June 2006):
 Good manners are really just courtesy and thinking about the comfort of others. So, does courtesy and care still exist? Yes, of course it does.
If you're worried that someone's behaviour around you isn't coming from the heart, that they're not sincere, just watch how they treat other people. You'll soon see the truth. If he holds open a door for you, but rages at the waiter for forgetting the garlic bread, then your date is not being sincere.
Watch how this person you're concerned about treats "service" staff like cab drivers, wait staff and sales clerks. If he's as nice to them as he is to you, then his courtesy to you is part of his personality. If not, then he's putting on a show for some reason known only to him.
If it's the latter, do beware!
A
female
reader, bonym  +, writes (10 June 2006):
 My dear at the department where I work, most of the men are in their thirties and forties, married with kids etc, but let me tell you 9 out of 10 of them are the most chivalrous men I have ever met. Chivalry is the term used to describe men who are courteous to women, I dont believe for one second that all these man are trying to get me into bed or hook up with me, they are simply good mannered decent men. They always hold the doors for me, they let me go in the lift first, they let me have use the water machine first etc etc. Now, perhaps, some men may do it because they find you attractive, butI know that this is not the case for all of them! So good manners are alive and kicking very much so!!! xXx
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A
female
reader, hannieseds  +, writes (10 June 2006):
 They sure do exist! My man is a true gentleman - never walks through a door before me, always opens the door for me, always pulls my chair out for me @ a restaurant...we've been together 5 years so I don't think he's just trying to 'hook' up with me!
So they are out there! xxx
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A
female
reader, Jadzia1127  +, writes (10 June 2006):
 If a man opens your door, pays for you, helps you out of a vehicle, comes to the door to pick you up, and treats you like a lady he is most likely not trying to just 'hook you'.
It usually means his father was an excellent example of how a man should treat a woman.
The way to test this is; a man learns how to treat a woman from his father, and he will treat his partner the same way his father treats his mother. So meet his parents if you see the same manners toward each other and then you will know he is a true gentleman. If you don't see any manners, there is a good chance he is just trying to impress you.
Doing something just to impress a person will typically end over time and things will go back to what feels comfortable and natural for that person.
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