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male
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anonymous
writes:Girls,well what I would like to ask is, if you been with bad boys, an one that you thought you loved, broke up with you, an you were heart broken. And then you met a really nice guy , an you were together for a few months, he treated you so good, you didn't know how to take it, so you broke up with him, but then you went back to the bad boy an he still treated you bad even though, he said he would change but they always go back, treating you bad. Have you ever thought of trying to talk to the good guy again, cause you realize, you did like being treated like an angle. A really good guy ,has probaly been hoping he would hear from you again, you don't have to feel, you deserved to be treated bad , cause you made a mistake, for the good guy, is probaly still missing you even after along time, an he's wondering if you ever think about him, so what am asking is, do you girls ever think about the good guy. .
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2013): To answer your question about talking to the good guy, oh yeah. Just Talk, no more no less. A level headed girl will never leave a good guy.But a stupid one will choose whats bad for them. Women have different personalities. Some use their head, some use their heart when making a decision. But to me, its just a matter of common sense.I will never leave a good guy over a bad guy. Why would you want to be with someone who's just giving you a headache. A fox will always be a fox. I'm sure you don't want to be with someone who cant see that your a good catch. or a good guy. But you cant force someone to love you. maybe it has something to do with her feelings for you, your not the one. That's why she cant see it. Or Maybe she's just crazy. Well, just move on. I'm sure you'll get over it. Good luck.
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female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (8 June 2013):
 The answer to your question really depends on what kind of connection the two of you had and whether she was in love with you. If she had feelings for you, then yes, she'll think about you and even miss you, but from what you described, your relationship with her was a rebound. Most likely she was still in love with her ex, while she was with you, so I'm not sure how strong her nostalgia would be when she thinks of you.
But that's just her. There are other women who would love to love you, so I would recommend on finding someone new who will care for you in such a way that she does not want to lose you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2013): When I was younger (like a teenager) I used to miss and think about guys I might've overlooked out of immaturity. But as I got older, (in my 20's and up), I handled dating in a more mature manner and was certainly more aware of what I wanted. Therefore if I dated someone briefly and left the "relationship" for whatever reason, I was pretty certain that is what I wanted and it was not something I would regret.So, as an adult, no I've never regretted overlooking a guy. If I didn't date a guy or take it more seriously, most likely I just wasn't that into him. And even if I got myself in a s^^^^y relationship afterwards, I still probably would not look back and suddenly be interested in a romantic way with the "nice guy" that I overlooked.
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reader, chigirl  +, writes (8 June 2013):
 I can't speak on the behalf of other women, but this good guy/bad boy theme is a fantasy. It's not how it happens, or how it's experienced.
I was with a guy who was a self proclaimed good-guy. Yet he was manipulative, full of lies, used me financially, screamed in my face, held me by force, didn't allow me to say or do certain things. And this was a guy who said he's a "good guy". And when he was in a good mood, he was the best there ever was. But in a bad mood.. oh, you wouldn't want to be in my shoes.
But just like guys can't see themselves for who they truly are (he thought he was a nice, but misunderstood, guy), women can't see men in an either black or white view either. We see a guy with good sides, and then he has bad sides.. but everyone has bad sides. So it's all about finding a balance.
Women don't like to be treated bad. But if it appears like they do, since some go back to abusive relationships/back with guys who lie and cheat.. then you're not seeing the full picture, just fragments. If they got back with an ex who treated them bad, I would say it's because he's a good manipulator, it's hard to let go, and she was still under his spell. Yes, they always say they will change and never do. But it's manipulation, and can't be compared to a situation in which you can make a rational decision.
I think girls do think about the good guy, but in more like a fantasy-idea, rather than an actual person. Wishing they could find him, if they're not already with him. And when in a bad relationship, they wish their man would turn into this good guy, because they are in love with/smitten with/under the spell of this man even though he treats her bad.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2013): Not in the way you are hoping they do. The thing with a lot of 'good guys' is that they tend to be pushovers. They can be lovely people and even very attractive physically, but they often will do anything for the women they are with at the expense of their own needs or feelings. This is what lots of men and women don't understand - having someone do everything you want sounds great at first, but it is a massive turn off. It basically comes across as desperate and proves the person involved has very low self esteem. Otherwise why would they not stand up for what they want and have their own voice? A person needs to have confidence. Not arrogance, just a healthy respect for themselves and their needs. If you don't look after your own interests, why would anyone else feel like they have to? If this is about you and your former lady friend, you need to realise she wasn't the one and start looking for someone else. Focus less on treating her like an angel and more on finding someone who is a good match for you. Remember that you also have the right to find someone with the attributes you are looking for, so stay true to that and don't put up with too much to try to cling on to someone. I promise it has the opposite effect than what you intend anyway.
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