A
male
age
36-40,
*ptamisticGuy
writes:Ok so my girlfriend of 2.5 years broke up with me a couple months ago. I have been an idiot and kept pressing the issue of getting back together, even though i know she needs her space right now and doesn't want a boyfriend. I didn't do anything serious to invoke the break up we just thought it was best for the time. Now she says she doesn't think she wants to get back together. If it happens she says it will be a ways down the road and even then probably wont happen. The other night we were drinking and i went to kiss her cheek. I kissed her three or four times and then went for a kiss on the lips. She stopped me but not in a mean way. More like in a way that we shouldn't do it or we will regret it later. Later she tells me she doesn't have those feelings for me anymore. I know she does from that moment i kissed her cheek, and when we first broke up she said she wished she could beg me to take her back. I dont think feeling like that just go away. I haven't been giving her space and i talk to her all the time, so im thinking maybe she hasn't had time to miss me. I need to get her back. I love her so much!
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female
reader, 48years  +, writes (30 November 2008):
 Fight for her if you love her that much. Don't give up until she says I Hate You.
A
male
reader, olliew  +, writes (30 November 2008):
Its the hardest medicine in the world,she is telling you what she wants,give her space,set yourself a deadline on the calendar,why not 2-3 weeks?
i know its going to be tough,this sounds terrible but if you do this now maybe the fact alone that we're coming close to Christmas might make her miss you more.
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A
female
reader, petina1  +, writes (28 November 2008):
 Try taking a back seat. She will feel pressured. She has said she doesnt want that anymore so you must respect her wishes. Get on with your life, she knows where you are if she wants to make any moves. If she doesnt then accept it. You don't want a reputation as a stalker do you?
She needs to reflect and find out what she really wants and you arent allowing her to do that. If you leave her alone she will either realize she misses you but if not you will have to leave it alone. hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, Teacake +, writes (28 November 2008):
 Broken hearts never heal as fast as we want them to. Unfortunately there are no magic cures. Part of loving someone for all the days of our lives.
Hopefully you will meet someone soon and I promise you will forget all about her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2008): Ah man you really dont want to hear this, I understand that, but you have to let go. I know you love this girl and its very painful to face the brutal reality of the situation, but thats what you gotta do. Right now youre avoiding feeling the painful feelings, youre hanging on hoping and reading into things what you want to read into them. But that road leads to loss of your dignity, embarressment and all other kinds of messy unnecessary pain. I know its hard to face something like this but you can. Dont be afraid of the pain. Dont run from it dont try and cover it up or distract yourself from it by drinking or trying to get back with this girl or go chasing another girl. So many people fall into the trap of chasing after another person, who, for whatever reason wants out. They chase or they try to replace that person with another person in order to avoid the pain. Please dont be one of those people. Those people spend their lives running and chasing and being at the emotional mercy of another human being. Let go and dont try and be with another person for at least another 6 months, preferably a bit longer. Just accept it. Sit with the pain and let it in. And all you do there is literally sit down in a quiet place were you wont be disturbed, close your eyes, breath and feel whatever comes up. It wont kill you or harm you in anyway. On the contrary it'll make you a better person because you'll be bullet proof after this. You'll feel very strong and confident I promise. I read something before and in it the author said that we should approach each situation or problem we are faced with from the point of view that we are being given a life lesson. What youre going through is a gift from life. I know it doesnt feel like it but this is life teaching you something really important about yourself: Accept the feelings, feel them and you'll be set free.
You have my sympathy and I know exactly what youre going through and i wish there was another way but theres not. No girl is worth losing your dignity over. You'll be fine on your own trust me. You got by before without her and you'll be fine without her again.
Good luck bro
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A
female
reader, Ms.wayne +, writes (28 November 2008):
I agree with temptress. You need to give her space. Time for her to miss you. You being there all the time will just irritate her more and then maybe she'll never even think about getting back with you. I understand you are trying to stay around her life thinking maybe you will change her mind BUT, she's serious. Don't come around, don't call, give her time. I know that it will be hard to do but eventually she may come around. It may take days,weeks,months but when you stop calling someone like this after a while they start to think hmm...I wonder what (blank) has been up to etc. If she does not come back then it wasn't meant to be, if she does then good luck in your relationship ;)
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