A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Do December-May relationships ever work in the real world?Woman older, man 17 years younger. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2014): Well you are in your 50's so I assume he is approaching 40? Maybe in his late 30's.
I guess that depends on your meaning of "working out." A lot of people think a relationship "worked out" if it results in marriage. For some people it "works" just because no matter what they always love each other.
Myself and the people I roll with, we tend to be open minded about everything. We understand that variety is the spice of life. My friend when she was 26 fell in love with a guy in his mid 40's. He's pretty hairy, overgrown beard, looks considerably older than her, he's got salt and pepper hair, but he is cool as shit. She is head over heels. Ill admit, everybody was shocked when they saw them together. The contrast between them was so sharp that you couldn't help but stare and wonder if she was pulling a prank or something. All people would see is a young cute girl with this old hairy man.
But once this guy spoke, his personality was so redeeming that it then became clear why she liked him. They are absolutely perfect for each other. She is very into the music scene and so is he. They share so many things in common in terms of lifestyle, interests and personality traits. Not only that but he is very headstrong and intelligent and the things he brings to the table are things she places a high value on. So despite the age difference, their relationship so far is one made in heaven.
If you and this guy have a lot in common, see eye to eye on most things, understand each other, enjoy the same type of lifestyle, gravitate toward the same type of friends, admire each other, just basically are a match, and then on top of that are attracted to each other, then that alone can withstand other factors such as your age difference.
But if you have nothing in common, then that will probably be a bigger deal breaker than the age difference. As for everybody else, who cares what others think? It's not their relationship, it's yours.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (23 December 2014):
 I date a woman who is 10 years older than I... and it's a dream come true!!!!
Do you really think that you need a platitude to justify yourself?????
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 December 2014):
 my husband is 13 years younger than I am.
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (23 December 2014):
Dear OP,
I never heard about the term december-may relationship, but I suppose it's a term that describes a relationship where one part is much older than the other.
I have heard some personal anectodes from relationships where the man is about 15 years older and it turned out well. And I met a woman who is married to a guy who's 20 years younger. At the time I knew her, she was happy, but also insecure about her age. And I know another woman with a husband who is 9 years younger than her. They love each other, but sometimes they have problems, because he's less used to household duties and other things.
This surely doesn't answer your question. Because in the end, all that matters is if YOUR relationship would work. And there are more things involved than just age. You and this man are both complex, grown up human beings, that bring your own experience into the relationship.
What I would also like to add, is that maybe we all need to redefine what we understand when we say "this relationship is working/not working".
Some people narrowly measure if a relationship is "working" by the time it lasts. Relationships that work are those that last forever. But in my experience, every relationship that can give you love, teach you something about life, open you up to the wonders of existence is valuable. While a relationship that lasts forever, but is empty and boring, is probably a waste of time.
My advice: You can try ANY relationship, if you're willing to risk that your life will seriously change and/or that your heart may be broken. And also, in every relationship, you need self-esteem, so you will take care of yourself in case of difficulty.
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