A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Do people with healthy, high self esteem get into exclusive relationships if they know the other person won't ever marry them?
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (18 September 2009):
Hell yes.
Not everyone in the world is after marriage. If I was 19 I wouldn't want a boyfriend who wanted to marry me.
Hang on, if I was single NOW at 26 I don't think I'd want a guy to be planning to marry me. I'd have no interest in meeting his mum and doing all that boring practical stuff.
I'd just like having him about until it stopped being fun and then we could both move on.
This is a very vague question so I wonder what your actual problem is. Update with the situation you have and we can give you some useful advice.
The basic rule to live by is to know what you want.
If YOU want to find someone to marry, then don't waste your time with someone who doesn't want to marry you.
If YOU want to date and have fun then don't lead on a person who wants marriage.
Any idiot can fall in love, but the people who are happy in the world realise that being in love with someone is not a reason to stay in a bad place.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2009): Yes they do - I know this because I am confident and happy being single, but I have never had a relationship which I thought would progress as far as marriage. I have had relationships up to 3 years in length and have always known that they wouldn't last or we just weren't right together long term. But if I like the person, feel I will learn from being with them and enjoy being with them in an exclusive relationship, then I see no reason not to have one. It's all experience that will help me understand what I'm looking for and what kind of person I would be happy to be married to. But if you're asking this question from the perspective of you dating a girl who you've told you wouldn't want to marry, then it's possible she's not taking that seriously and thinks you would change your mind over time. Or she could take the philosophical view and see that you wouldn't work as a married couple.
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