A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:would just like to know how many wifes have this problem,you have all the time in the world to spend alone with your husband ,you can do everything you can think of to get him to notice you put on make-up put on sexy night ware even go around necked and he still acts as if your not there,the only time he wants anything to do with you is when it's time to cook or work to be done or when he wants sex is all men this way?or has he lost all desire for me in any case I dont see this marriage lasting much longer I might as well be living alone because even when i'm in the same room with him i feel alone is it time for me to move on i dont have much time left in life and i dont want to spen it with the computer being my only way of talking to someone,how many women out there are in the same boat if there is what have you done to change it because this is getting old .
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2011): There are too many things involved to have a man not noticing your presence or any thing from you:
1. He has another woman he is in love with for that particular moment.
2. He has problems (financial, health, etc.) he doesn't have immediate solutions and he is frustrated to share with you
3. The communication in the family is not good.
4. Just pretending to see how you react (this cannot last for more than a week)
All of the above are curable!
If you can't know exactly the origin of the behavior talk to him.
I really love my wife but some times I do like your man. I didn't know it huts you.
Thank you for helping me on this way.
O'
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2011): Im having the same kind of problem, Only I am not married yet. We have been together a long time though. At first he always used to compliment me, He was all over me telling me that I was beautiful and sexy. He used to say 'I feel so lucky to have a beautiful girl like you'. Now he doesn't even say Oh u look nice. Not even something as simple as that! I try my best to be fair. I buy new clothes, Try new make up, different hair styles and lingerie and nope, not a thing! He doesn't even notice if I dye my own hair! I feel so alone when im in the same room as him aswell. I feel like he doesn't find me attractive anymore or is bored of me or something! He once said that I was the best looking girl around here. Now he flirts with girls who are even worse looking than me and tells them their gorgeous! Have I seriously gone that bad! Infact I look better than I did before because Ive tried so hard! Men are all the same. Their strange creatures. I don't really Have any advice on this but I am someone who is going through the same sort of thing as yourself. Hope this has made you feel better knowing that your not aone. Best wishes
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A
female
reader, cat lady +, writes (6 January 2011):
 Is he nice to you when he IS paying attention to you? Do you have respect and equal rights in your relationship? Do you two enjoy many of the same things? Is he generally reserved around other people also? Is he in good health? Are you usually made aware of it if he has a particular problem or worry?My own husband, after we'd been married several years, wouldn't have batted an eyelash if I stripped naked and painted myself blue. Having come from a very demonstrative kind of family, that took me a while to get used to. But, in almost 3 decades he never so much as looked at anyone else and preferred to stay home with me to any other amusement. I had made a choice long ago between the likelihood of a man who paid TOO much attention to me and my business and one who who didn't pay much attention at all and I chose the latter and never regretted it. When you are both self-contained people accustomed to entertaining yourselves, you don't really want somebody following you around all the time. There were days when we both had a good book in our hands and didn't say hardly a word to one another all day. I'd get up and make tea or a meal and set it down for us and we'd both go right on with our reading whilst we had it. I look back on that now as my favorite kind of togetherness! (alas, I'm a widow now) When you can share quietude together happily, you are definitely solid as a rock and that relationship is in no danger, trust me.I remember telling him once that I wasn't getting enough romance from him and thought he wasn't interested in me anymore. His answer was, 'Just get in bed naked and then I'll know what you want!' I still laugh when I think of that because the guy was serious! He would do whatever I wanted him to do but I was expected to take the initiative also, not just wait for him to do it.You might be luckier than you think. You mention your computer. Well, say you're doing some writing or studying with it and you need to concentrate. Do you want somebody sulking like a kid because you're 'not paying attention to him' and draining your concentration and energy with sighs, noises and little domestic details that really can wait till you're done working? When I was a young girl, I lost a potential boyfriend just because I started playing banjo and loved it and wanted to practice every spare hour. He resented my dedication to learning more. Because my natural predilection was ever to be learning SOMETHING, I decided I was better off without him. Here's a favorite husband trick; you must know this one: 'He' can't find something, even though it's been put in the same place for years. He'll open a cupboard and stand there. He doesn't say anything but it STILL breaks your concentration. When my husband did it, it was a game, just a 'guy' thing I could indulge. My ladies' game, on the other hand, was jumping up on a chair and squealing for him to get up and dispose of some creepy-crawly, when alone, I had no trouble at all disposing of it myself. (well, when it came to snakes, I was glad to delegate....)Do you like your husband, lady? As a friend? Does he like you? There is the base of your companionship, not romance. It feeds the romance. Find a sense of humor and start playing a few games with him. That's IF you two still care for one another. Ask him straight if you want an answer to that important question and whether or not you care for him, only you know the answer to that one.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2011): I don't think you should give up on him quite yet. Try talking to him first. Express your concerns and together try and figure out a way to fix it. A lot of married couple get in a rut of their own and forget that they are in a partnership and each has needs. Communication is key part of a marriage so i would start there. Maybe a romantic weekend get away. A break from the outside world, somewhere the two of you can be together and reconnect. Good Luck.
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