A
female
age
30-35,
*ustSomeoneRandom
writes: A little over three months ago I started to like this boy in my grade (10th) named Jaiden. We quickly started talking in school and made up our own private jokes, sayings and silly routines. He would throw little papers at me and we would talk about everything from music, to our problems, to our families. We’d spend an entire hour in class, just the two of us, talking and joking around without even working. He lives on a farm outside of another town, and rides the bus to my school. The first time I rode the bus to a friend’s house (who lives in that town) he asked my friend how long I was staying. She told him I was staying overnight and he came into town and stayed at another friend’s house just to be able to hang out with me. We only ended up seeing each other for a few minutes because things came up, but my friend says he never comes into town, never mind stays the night, and she was convinced he liked me. The day after, a mutual guy friend texted him and told him I liked him. The only thing I know Jaiden said was, “Haha I thought she liked me,” and “That’s nice but I think I should get to know her more.” I was nervous when we came back to school, but he kept talking to me like usual. When I asked what my friend had told him, he only smiled and replied, “He told me LOTS.” The next weekend, the same girlfriend from earlier texted him and told him to text me. He’d told her, “I want her to text me first. She’ll text me when she’s ready.” The next day I texted him, and we ended up talking every second of the entire weekend, from first thing in the morning till we went to bed. Our school had a ski/snowboarding trip planned, and while we were texting he asked me to go snowboarding with him. I was scared I would fall or crash, but he told me if I fell he’d catch me and would make sure I wouldn’t crash. He also asked me to stay later to snowboard with him after the school left, and his Dad would give me a ride home after. The day before the ski trip, he said he couldn’t give me a ride anymore because other kids from his town were counting on rides. He apologized over and over and said he felt bad. The day of the trip was awkward, because for some reason we didn’t talk. Also, I’d ended up going skiing instead. He rode up the lift with me and a friend once and kept hitting my skiis, and talked with me for a second, but other than that we didn’t speak. After the trip, we didn’t talk for a week and a half. I asked him over text if he was mad at me, but he said he wasn’t. Jaiden’s best friend Julian told me that Jaiden wasn’t mad at me; he was just shy, and that was just the way Jaiden was. A few days later he also said he wasn’t sure if Jaiden wanted a thing right now, but I don’t know if Julian is reliable enough for me to believe him. One day in class, he suddenly started talking to me and after that things went back to normal. Even better than before because we ended up talking more, and about deeper things. Once, we spent an entire class talking and a girl in our row asked, “Have you guys done any work?...Jaiden stop flirting!” Jaiden would steal my pencil case, then stare at me until I realized he’d taken it. Or when I was hot he would fan me with a paper. Lol. When a boy that obviously liked me, but that Jaiden knew I was annoyed with, sat beside me and started talking to me, Jaiden convinced him to leave and didn’t stop until he finally did leave me alone. One time in class, we measured whose hands were bigger. When we put our palms up against each other, and his of course were bigger, he gently curled his fingers over mine :) After we pulled our hands away he rubbed his on his jeans and said, “My hands are sweaty!” as if he was embarrassed. We’ve also play arm wrestled. When I’d tell him to remind me to get something, he would wait till the end of class, then sneakily grab it and when I thought it was missing, would give it to me and say, “You told me to remind you, so I thought I’d just grab it for you.” Whenever I whispered something to someone or laughed at a text someone sent me, he would say, “Tell me!” or “Show me the text!” Once, after saying that he would be ‘so ripped’ after track practice was done, he told me to feel his arm muscle. Also, whenever he asks me a question and someone interrupts me, he says, “Excuse me! I was talking to Corey,” and would look back to me to finish. One particular class when I was having a really bad day and was being really quiet, he asked me, “Why aren’t you talking to me?” I shrugged and then he spent the literally the entire hour trying to find out what was wrong. When there was no one around he leaned really close and said, “Quick! Tell me what’s wrong!” When I still didn’t tell him, he said, “I’m trying to help. Maybe I can fix it!” Aww :) Whenever he makes fun of me, he always says sorry after or that he didn’t mean it. Once when I said, “Stop making fun of me!” he said, “I’m not. I wouldn’t do that.” I haven’t texted him much besides that one weekend, and four or five times since then when we’ve talked for hours. I always have to text him first, and usually that’s the case with anyone he talks to; not just me, but I still feel like he doesn’t want to talk to me sometimes. Even though all his text messages have smiley faces on them and once when I took about a minute longer to reply he said, “Jeez just ignore me now!...You were taking a while to reply.” We also had a few joking conversations about me fantasizing about him or us having sex. We’re not like that though. I’ve never kissed anyone and I’m pretty sure he hasn’t either. We were just joking. Also, he always says things specifically to me. When I scan the room and my eyes land on him. He’s looking at me too and we make eye-contact, but both of us quickly look away. He notices little things about me like little things that only I say, the color of my mood ring, or when I’m staring into space daydreaming. Also, he started out just kicking my desk, but now he lightly kicks my feet. A few times he’s even rubbed my leg with his foot, once even my thigh, from underneath my desk. But he does that to lots of girls he’s comfortable with, just to freak them out though; only joking. But lately, he’s been putting his foot on top of mine and just leaving it there until I move and then he does too. I guess what I’m really trying to ask is: do you think he like me? Quite a common question, but it’s what I want to know. Also, is ANY of the things he’s been doing flirting? Should I text him more, or do you think he doesn’t want to talk to me outside of school? He’s just really confusing to figure out sometimes, or maybe I’m just not good at this, but honestly anything you guys can tell me would be appreciated. Also, sorry for the long spiel. Haha
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female
reader, JustSomeoneRandom +, writes (24 May 2010):
JustSomeoneRandom is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks so much for your advice! So he's not flirting with me, but..he might love me?? And my birthday did come, and when everyone was wishing me happy birthday and a few friends even sang happy birthday, he told me, "I'm not going to say happy birthday until tomorrow." He didn't get me anything, either, but he would be too shy to do that anyways. And do you think I should keep texting him? I don't think he ever texts people first but I still dont want to seem to clingy. Thanks again for everything!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2010): Hmm well nicely described. I think this guy is not flirting with you. If it was me i would have been in love with you to do all this.. He cares for you thats evident. Its normal to not tell a person that you love her. This is because of the fear that if u tell her that you love her then she might leave you. Thus a person who loves another wants to be with the other but not say about love. Men are usually kept to themselves in love especially if hes a shy guy. about u texting him first. it might be that he read on some website that girls like guys with some attitude.. not that he is showing attitude. hes always been so polite. i think you ask a frend (girl) to talk to him. if hes the same caring person and does all this to her then this means its normal for him to be this sweet. else its just you. .and one its you i think he really cares for you. coz given u people are soo close.. its only when a person doesnot want to loose the other person that he doesnot discuss sex.. thus plzzz u too care for him and atleast give him a chance to say wat he wants. ask him wat he thinks love is. his definition would give you the clue. also wait for ur birthday. see wat present he gives u. if he presents u with chocolates or tedddybear or smething that is not so traditional or symbolises love then he must like u...
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