A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Okay so Halloween is soon. My two friends and I were going to dress up together. They were making their costumes and I was buying mine. They all went together. I didn't really wan't to be the costume they told me, but i was like "okay well i'll do it cuz we can all dress up together". So I went out and bought it. Today, I ask this other girl what she's being for halloween. She tells me she's dressing up with my friends. I ask them about it and they said that their costumes didn't work out, couldn't find certain parts, etc. After making up excuse after excuse about what happened, they tell me I can dress up with them too. But they had already planned a shopping day! And I already spent ALL my money buying the costume THEY wanted me to. They're my best friends, so I don't WANT to be mad at them, I just don't think they should get away with something like this that easily. I mean, one they ditched me. But two, they REPLACED me. And three, they didn't tell me. And four, they didn't even like tell me before so we could maybe figure something else out. I just feel like so excluded and abandoned. I know I really didn't do anything wrong, it just pisses me off that they would just decide to do something with this other girl without even bothering to tell me. So, honestly, I don't even know right now. What do you think?
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou very much for your advice. I would like to clarify some things though. These girls are my best friends. We've been best friends for 3 years and rarely get into fights. They've been good friends, and are always just there for me. So when this happened it just really hurt me to know that all of this could happen.
I know that they're sorry for what they've done, and I really want to forgive them. But I want them to know that what they did really hurt me. I don't want revenge on them or anything, I'm not that kind of person. I just want them to apologize, know what they've done wrong, and then we can just learn from it and move on.
I know that they've been mean to me, and I that this isn't my fault. I want to forgive them, because I don't like to wake up in the morning and remember what my friends have done to me. But they owe me an apology of some sort, correct?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2010): you need a better type of friend. Do not blame yourself. But also do not become bitter and twisted about it. That serves no purpose to try to hurt them. If they keep that behaviour up they will have no friends, eventually. You dont deserve this nastiness. Show some dignity. I could not even be bothered asking them 'why?'. The answer is easy: they are bitchy immature little girls who see no problem in excluding you, ignoring you, and disrespecting you. Save the costume and sell it on EBay or similar in 11months time. These girls have been mean to you. And good friends are hard to find.
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